Not Wanted Goodbyes
by yecelp
Summary: After I walked out of the choir room I knew things would be different. It was time to face this unwanted goodbye. Faith had a different path for me, and I don't think I'm strong enough to fight it anymore.
1. Chapter 1

Hey it's my first story so I hope you like it. It's set after Santana had slapped Quinn. First few chapters are a bit sad but it'll get better. All mistakes are mine. Enjoy!

Summary: After I walked out of the choir room I knew things would be different. It was time to face this unwanted goodbye. Even if it meant letting go of what I love. Because that's what people do right?I should let the love of y life be happy, even if it doesn't include me.

Santana POV

Things were falling apart. I had come back to the place I wanted to escape for the holiday, like promised. But It seems like this old town still had tricks up it's sleeves.

I walked out of the choir know that things would be different from now on. Was it all true? Were my fears coming reality? Every time I stepped foot in this building, a part of me was ripped out and scattered. Un un-official break up and an official lost best friend. What was going on?

I made my way to the only place I knew I could be, the only place I knew I could be myself and let it all out. The Auditorium. No one knows that I've been secretly sneaking into the auditorium back in college just to ease some pain. PLaying the same song over and over again because it was capable go showing what I felt. Sadness and heart ache.

I walked up the stairs and slowly made my way to the grand piano. I slid my hand over the top and pulled the bench from under the piano and sat on it. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding in and push the cover over. I ran my fingers over the keys memorizing ever feel against my fingers. I relaxed, feeling safe and confident. I stopped at a random key and fiddle with it. Just listening to the note letting it sink into me. Slowly I moved my hands onto the keys and placed them in correct posture and began to play at a low tone. I know if someone walked through the doors they'd think I was just playing but it was more than just a song and hand movements. It was my heart. My soul. Speaking the un-told words that roomed my mind and body.

I just wanted to let it all out, if only for a second I could open up, even if it meant opening up to just me, myself and I here by my side.

I sighed and began to play the song with the correct tone and let my heart speak.

**_I don't want to be her_**

**_I just want to be little old me_**

**_Shouldn't have to think_**

**_Who am I suppose to be today_**

I was lost. I was lost the moment I choice to walk into this place. The first verse was just a beginning of my heart pouring out everything I had been holding on to. This song never left right in the auditorium back in Kentucky but it felt right here.

**_And what gave you the right_**

**_To tell me who I should be_**

**_Who gave you that right_**

**_Cause I, I feel lovely_**

**_Just the way I am_**

**_Yes lovely _**

**_The way I am_**

My hands played, hitting every note on perfect pitch. As if it was the last time I would ever be alive.

**_I know you want the best_**

**_yeah only good things for me_**

**_But you have to realize_**

**_I can't be all these things you project_**

**_on me_**

**_Cause I'm beautiful to me _**

**_Doesn't mean a thing _**

**_I feel lovely_**

**_Just the way I am_**

**_Yes I feel lovely_**

**_ The way I am_**

**_I need to be enough for you _**

**_Need that to be enough for you_**

**_Cause it's enough for me_**

**_It's enough for me_**

My voice sang the nest verse like never before. My hands matched every beat never missing the pitch, challenging my heart to full potential. It was now or never. This was me. Only me.

**_Am I suppose to give you everything I am_**

**_Just to make you happy_**

**_I thought I was the one you_**

**_Always wanted me to be_**

**_It turns out I'm just little old me_**

**_I'm just little old me_**

**_And that's fine by me_**

**_Cause I, I am lovely_**

**_Just the way that I am_**

**_Oh yes I am,_**

**_Yes I am lovely_**

**_The way that I am_**

**_I am lovely lovely_**

**_I am Lovely_**

As I ended the last line I didn't notice I was draining my eyes out. It was only now that I understood why my heart pounded, why my soul sang, why my feelings crumbled. It felt right not only because I was holding it in, but because this was my last time. It was the last time being here. My heart and mind knew all along, but left it to me to discover. As much as it hurt and I didn't want to leave faith decide for me, faith wanted something different than me. And I don't think I was strong enough tonight this war anymore.

Hope you liked it. I know it's kinda sort but trust me it is a good way to start the story. I have a basic outline of what the story will be about. First few chapters will be a bit heart breaking but in the end I assure you it will end the correct way. Comment and favor please! First story so don't be so hard on me!

Thank you!

Song: Lovely - Sara Haze


	2. Chapter 2

hope you like it (: fav, comment yay! all errors are mine

Santana's POV

I was excited for sectionals. As much as I haters to admit it, I was really disappointed in the fact that sectionals was cancelled and pushed back a week since Marley fainted, but it was good to know that we didn't get disqualified.

I wanted to talk to Brittany about how I was feeling. I knew I could count on her. I wanted to tell her how much I missed Quinn, how I was disappointed in Marley, how my heart ache every time I stepped in this school. And most of all how much I missed her.

I entered the school and made my way to her locker. As I got closer I didn't see her there.

_Hmmm… thats odd._

" Santana!"

Turning around I was created by Finn.

"What?"

" How are you? " I gave him a stern look. _You got to be kidding me. _

" You're looking for Brittany aren't you? I just saw her she's by the lockers next to the court exit-"

Once he said court I started walking down the hall and heard him yell something as I walked away.

" Santana wait she's-"

I don't really care about what he needed to tell me. I just needed my Britt. I turned the corner faster than I should have because my sight got blurry. Once my sight was clear, the broken pieces of my heart I had tried so hard to pick up were shattered. I stood there. My eyes big, my mind was racing, but most important my heart breaking.

I stood there numb and lifeless watching Brittany kiss Sam.

Before I could process anything, they stopped kissing and Brittany caught a glimpse of me. Her face was as if she'd seen a ghost. Was that what I was to her now? A ghost? A nobody? Before she could speak or react, I turned the corner and ran down the hall. Not look back and well not looking forward ether.

As I was about to reach the doors I collided with someone. _Great just what I needed. _

As I looked up I saw Quinn standing there.

" Watch where you're going sand bags. "

I was so vulnerable that I couldn't reply. My mind was replaying what had just happened and there was no stopping it. Quinn must have sensed something was up because as I tried pushing past her she got ahold of my hand.

" What'a wrong Santana?" her voice filled with worry but stern.

" Leave me alone Quinn." I hadn't noticed how weak I sounded, because her eyes changed. Lighted and more worried than ever. Knowing Quinn I knew she wouldn't give up till I told her, which annoyed me but gave me some hope. Hope that someone still cared.

" San, Hun whats wrong? " Her eyes searching mine, looking for answers. Answers I didn't want to accept.

" Don't call me that!" I spat. I didn't want to do anything with Brittany. I knew if I tried tricking my mind, maybe my heart would follow along and believe that as well.

" Okay, Santana just tell me what hap-"

"LET ME GO!" I yelled I didn't care that people were staring or looking.

"No! Not til you tell me what-"

" You want to know what happened? FINE. Ever since I stepped foot in this old place my heart has been falling apart. Being away from the people I care about, watching them all grow apart. Coming back only to see my best friend ruin her life and replace me for a high school student. Telling me I'm jealous of her when reality is, I might have been in high school but like you said were grown ups now. God Dam Quinn. Don't you fucking understand? I fucking slapped you. And you just walked away. It hurts! Because here I am standing see Brittany fucking let me go and not fight for me. Seeing her move on within a week of out break up and kissing Sam! Gosh Dam, I was going to go see her and ask her for advice than I was going to ask her to get back together! That I had committed the biggest mistake in my life, That I can't stand this fucking distance and weakness of my heart anymore! My life is Shit without her! Are you happy now Quinny?! That you now know what is going on, that you and the fucking whole school know that I'm breaking. That The top school bitch is weak for once in her life? That you saw me seeing the love of my life kiss someone else. Well why don't you go fucking update your Dam twitter!"

I hadn't noticed how mad, angry, disappointed and sad I was. Quinn's face was life less. It was as if she had been told that her daughter was dead. But i didn't care anymore. I ripped my wrist out of her hand and ran out the doors. It didn't surprise me that it was raining. I just wanted to get to my car and leave. As I made my way past all the cars I finally spotted my car. I probably looked like shit but hey my lives a shit hole I might as well look like it too. As I reached my Land Rover and started to take my keys out, someone got ahold of my wrist spinning me back and pulling me into a hug.

" Shhh it's going to be okay. "

I knew that voice.

Cliff hanger (: almost done with the next chapter. Anyhow all mistakes are mine. I plan on doing some other people POV's in the next chapter or so! Comment and favor please!


	3. Chapter 3

Thanks for the follows. Should I continue? Well anyhow here's another chapter, hope you enjoy, first story written so don't be harsh. Read on. (:

Disclaimer: Don't own glee…. I wish

_Italics= thoughts_

Normal=POV

**Bold= Singing**

* * *

Santana POV

I wanted nothing else but to be held. I knew that I should be pouring out tears but instead I was silent.

" I'm so sorry for-"

" Shhh santi. I deserved it. We've both made mistakes. "

"Thank you Quinnie"

I didn't want to argue anymore, I was tired of fighting. Ever since the heartbreak in the auditorium I knew it was only a matter of days before I'd hit solid bottom. This was it. Things were hell. And I thought I was a bitch. Turns out hell had it's tricks.

" Come on, lets get out go here. "

I gave my keys to Quinn and Settled myself in the passenger seat. I looked over to Quinn who was staring at me and shivering a bit from being out in the rain. My body was numb, I only felt the silence of my heart. Trying, fighting to get up, but I knew that all my strength was gone. It was time to accept.

Quinn turned the car on and blasted the heater. She put her seat belt on and looked at me one last time. Like if she was asking for permission. I nodded and she set the car in reverse and drove out of the parking lot. I leaned to the side of my chair so that look out the window and see the mirror's reflection of the school that I once walking in for four years slowly disappearing behind me taking every last bit of me with it.

* * *

"Hey Santana, hun. Wake up, were here. "

Opening up my eyes, my sight was blurry. I twisted a bit realizing I was still in the car in front of a big house which I suppose was on a hill near Lima.

_Where the heck am I?_

" Where at my house. " Quinn spoke. I nodded my head, still a bit confused. I hadn't known I spoke out loud.

_Wait Quinn has a house?_

The car door was open and the sky was cleared now. Oh how time changes everything. I turned my head and grabbed my purse and got out of my car.

" Watch out for the puddle, the sky main be clear but there is still water to be soaked up. "

It hurt. The statement felt more about my day rather than the weather. Quinn must have noticed something in my eyes because she quickly responded back trying to reassure me she meant the weather.

" I know Quinn. " I hopped over the puddle and pushed my door shut. Quinn locked it and we walked up the path leading to the entrance. While she opened the door I looked past the side of the house and noticed a nice view. I finally realized where we were. The rich part of lima. It was about 20 minutes from the school but you these houses had the best view of all Lima.

_How'd she get this house?_

The houses were spread apart, just enough to give you I entered I was greeted by the living room view looking out to the town.

" Im going to go downstairs and get changed and bring you some comfortable clothes. Turning to the left of the living room and into the hallway the right door is a bathroom, to the left is a guest room which you can use and straight down the hall is the kitchen and dinning room. Ummm, to the right of the living room.. I'll let you figure that out. Down stairs is another guest room and my bed room. Garage is the door by the kitchen. I'll be back. "

With that Quinn went down the stairs. I took my shoes off and put my purse on the couch. The house was big. So much open space. The living room was like a gigantic T form. You were met by the stairs that led you down stairs and the living room. I walked to the hall Quinn had described around the corner of the living room. The hall was big. I was met by the door on the right, the bathroom. I opened it and was fascinated. The walls to the sides were normal but the wall facing the door was a glass wall. It was the same view of the town and a 3 piece bathroom. I walked back into the hall and into the guest room which seemed like a master bedroom with its own bathroom and view. I walked to the kitchen and saw the beauty of it.

_How did she afford all this? _

I went back into the living room and saw a piano and a guitar in the right end go the living room. I walked across the living room and into the open space. I sat at the piano bench and looked out the window wall. What a true beauty. I ran my hand over the piano, but it didn't feel right. I sighed and got up and made my way to the guitar. I picked it up and ran my fingers from the top of the neck to the body. I strummed all the chords and felt relief.

I walked back to the piano and hopped on it. I criss crossed my legs and correctly place my hands on the guitar. No one knew I played, only my mother. I breathed in but felt tension and pressure to breathe. I wanted to cry, be mad, be angry but I felt nothing. I felt hopeless. Why was everything coming down?

I wanted to let it all go, I wanted to jump out of this hole I had dug, but I used up the last of my light and was left in the darkness of this mess, So I did the only thing I knew that moment. I began to play the guitar.

**It's my last big breath what you want me to do **

**When you act all cool like you already knew **

**Then I'll be stuck here cold, just waiting it through **

**Till your heart starts beating for that somebody new **

**You know that it's true **

**Cause it's beautiful people like you, who get whatever they want **

**And it's beautiful people like you, who suck the life right out of my heart **

**And it's beautiful people like you, who make me cry **

**Cause nobody else could be nearly as cruel as you **

**It's a wicked game that your making me play**

**Where I crawl back home as your walking away **

**Then it's all quite clear what you want me to say **

**But you'll be so long gone if I ask you to stay **

**You know that it's true **

**Cause it's beautiful people like you, who get whatever they want **

**And it's beautiful people like you, who suck the life right out of my heart **

**And it's beautiful people like you, who make me cry **

**Cause nobody else could be nearly as cruel as you **

I sang with everything I had left not caring if I'd lose my self anymore. I was lost in this hopeless place, far away from myself. Searching for something I know was no longer be there. Because Brittany was no longer mine.

**It's my last big breath, what you want me to do **

**When you act all cool, like you already knew **

**Cause it's beautiful people like you, who get whatever they want **

**And it's beautiful people like you, who suck the life right out of my heart **

**And it's beautiful people like you, who make me cry **

**Cause nobody else could be nearly as cruel as you **

**Nobody else could be nearly as cruel as you, as you**

" That was beautiful. "

I turned around and saw Quinn standing there wearing sweats now and I looked to her face. Which looked like she had been struck by reality but she looked so caring as well. She walked over to me and blushed off the tears that I had streaming down my face.

" How long have you been-"

" I saw you making your way to the piano, I called out your name but you didn't hear me. I followed you gaze and decided to see what you were up to. I knew that singing would help you break down some of your walls so I stood behind you and heard the girl you have trapped inside sing. I heard her ask for help. And Santi you don't have to pretend anymore. "

I pulled her into me, holding onto her tight not wanting to be left alone. I didn't want to be here. I didn't want to live this life knowing the person I love doesn't care. I don't want to be that weak girl, but it seems like I've been the weak girl all along.

I was crying out my heart. I was tired of searching for the way out of this hole.

" Its okay to be weak sometimes San. Let it all go"

Her words made me cry harder. She sounded so much like brittany. It broke me more. I stayed there in place, holding onto Quinn for my dear life. I held onto her till darkness filled me for complete, where the darkness felt like home. Because home wasn't reality anymore.

* * *

Quinn POV

Santanas sobs were soaked up by my shirt but I didn't care. I've never seen Santana like this. So alone, pretending, vulnerable, sad and lifeless. It broke me. I Stay there holding her for about half an hour. Her sobs were lifeless, along, frightened, scared to be left alone and forever forgotten. It broke my heart seeing the brave and tough Santana I know be this broken, small girl.

Her voice sounded so vulnerable, and the song. Wow. It had such a strong meaning. But it didn't seem like a song she heard. _I wonder if she wrote it. _

After I heard her start to die out I noticed she had fallen asleep. I picked her up. _Whoa. She's so light. _Making my way over to the guest room, I laid her down on the bed and made my way to the door. Even asleep she looked broken. I sighed.

_She didn't deserve this. _

I walked to the kitchen and grabbed a glass of water. Leaning against the cabinet I looked out the window. _What do I do? I can't just let her break herself down and blame herself. But i've never felt with this. Brittany always cheered her up. Brittany was always- I need to sop thinking about Brittany because she's not here. _

_Buzzz. Buzzzz. Buzzz._

I had forgotten all about my phone. I walked into the living room and kept hearing a phone buzz. _What the?_

I walked to the stairs and saw Santana's purse. Her phone was buzzing. I picked it up and reached in for her phone.

I pushed the home bottom.

**38 Text messages**

**14 Missed calls**

Behind the notifications was a picture of Santana Kissing Brittany's cheek. It hurt to know what happened to her today. What had gone on? I'm suppose to be her best friend. I'm suppose to make sure that anyone who hurts her paid the price. But I couldn't do that to Brittany.

I slid the lock button on the screen and was met by a lock code. _Hmmm, what could it be? Brittany?_

I typed Brittany's name in but it was wrong. _So if it's not Brittany than it's definitely not her name. Okay, well what else does Santana love more than Brittany and herself?_

I typed in the word Brittana and the lock screen cleared out and her phone unlocked. _Oh yay, put them together and that's the thing she most loves. _Her wall paper was a picture of Brittany sleeping, she looked so peaceful it made me mad. Here I was trying to be strong for both of us while she was enjoying ' frog lips'.

I went to her messages knowing who all the messages were from. Brittany. I shuck my head and turned her phone off and slipped it back into her purse. I walked down to my room and grabbed my phone.

**25 Text Messages**

**8 Missed calls**

I opened my phone and walked into the kitchen preparing myself for whats next to come. I sat on the bench in the kitchen and looked throughout the text messages Brittany had sent me.

**Brittany_(: : Quinny! I can't find santana!**

**Brittany_(: : She saw…. I can't find her, do you know where she is?**

**Brittany_(: : What if she got robbed or taken by a evil unicorn? Help! ):**

**Brittany_(: : Lucy, Im so sad ): I need to see her**

Reading through the rest, they were all similar. I decided to take a step out on to the porch and leaned against the railing. I pushed the call button and waited for an answer.

"Quinnnnnn! Have you found her? I've looked everywhere and I went to her house and she wasn't there so I went tot he auditorium and she wasn't there ether and- "

" Brittan-"

" than I went to the choir room and she wasn't there so I started to cry and now-"

" BRITTANY"

" yea? " she whispered. she sounded so recked. I almost gave into comforting her but than I remembered what had happened.

"She's fine. Don't worry about her. "

" You know where she is? Tell me! I really need to tal-"

" Brittany let me talk first. She is safe, she isn't alone and she is currently sleeping. "

" oh, can I-"

"Brittany, I'm sorry but no. You've done enough, I think it's best if you leave her alone. " I heard no response but I knew she was hurt bye my words. But I didn't care. What she had done was just wrong, even if Santana was the one that broke it off, she only did it to protect Brittany. Right?

" Tell her I'm sorry"

" I won't be your messenger Brittany. Not with this. Bye Britt. " I hung up before I got a response. My heart ached. Brittany was my best friend too, but this just wasn't right. And it was worse for Sam.

Looking out to the view, I wished I had someone to talk to. I knew Santana had questions. How I got this how? Why was I dating a teacher? How was beth? Puck?

I closed my eyes and walked back inside. I went to the fridge and looked for something to cook for Santana. _What makes people happy? Pancakes? No, Brittany's favorite. Hmmmm.. junk food? yea. _

I reached into the cabinet and pulled out some spongebob noodles and a pot. _I'm so cool. I can't wait to see Santana's face when she sees our favorite show as food. _I started to build water and took out a pan to get started on some homemade chocolate cake.

I was lost with he cooking when I heard my phone go off. Walking to the island where I had set it I picked it up without checking who it was and placing it to my ear.

"Hello?"

" Hey baby, how are you? " _Great just what I needed._

" What do you want? "

"Baby, I'm sorry, I know I messed up but-"

"No I don't want to hear your bullshit anymore. Leave me alone now. "

"What you can't do that Quinn! You deserved what you got and you know what fuck you and you're stupid child-"

" You know what I'm tired of you, it's fucking off. Don't call me anymore!"

With that I hung up. Tears streaming down my face. How dare he say that about beth? She was the only perfect thing in this world. If only I had someone. Someone to help me with this world that seemed to crash down once I left Lima.

Smelling the soup sent relief through me, I grabbed my phone and searched for someone I knew who be there for me. Once I spotted the name I clicked call without thinking, because if I thought of it I knew I would stop myself. I was doing something I know I should have done Years ago.

" Hello, who is this?"

" I… I need you."

* * *

**Cliff hanger? **

**Well review and give me ideas for the nest fews chapters (:**

**All errors are mine! more reviews faster posts**

**thank you for reading!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey I'm sorry for the very late update, had some family issues. Hope you like it. (: Review! all mistakes are mine and I don't own glee );**

* * *

**Quinn's POV**

As I waited on the couch I felt nervous and excited. I had finished making the soup and dessert for dinner. Now I just had to wait for Santana to wake up. I leaned into the couch and looked outside. _Hmmm… having such a big house yet so lonely. What a waste._ Shaking out the thoughts in my head I went down stairs and decided to shower while Santana was still asleep. Hoping to clear my head.

I walked into my room and went to the bathroom to turn on the water. As I felt the warm water against my hand I felt a slight more relaxed. I than walked to my closet and turned the lights on and walked down the aisle trying to find something to wear.

I don't know why I felt the urge to dress up but I felt the need to. _Although I do feel quite comfortable in these sweats_. I decided to pick out a red crew neck that said NYC, a black beanie, black leggings and red Toms. I set the clothes on my bed and made my way into the bathroom.

I unzipped the dress I was wearing and let it slide down my body till it hit the ground. I unclasped my bra and took it off and threw it in the laundry basket and I slipped out of my underwear as well. I picked up the dress and threw it along with my bra and made my way to the ihome beside the shower and pressed play and made byway into the shower.

My breath hitched as the water hit every part of my body. Slowly easing off all the nerves I had before entering. For a second I felt peace. As I slowly breathed in, I listened to the song start up.

It was a slow piano song. I closed my eyes and swayed to the tune. I waited patiently for the lyrics to come as I lost myself in the music.

**You're nobody 'til somebody loves you**

**You're nobody 'til somebody cares**

**You may be king, you may posses the world and it's gold**

**But gold won't bring you happiness when you're growing older**

**The world still is the same, you'll never change it**

**As sure as the star shines above**

**You're nobody 'til somebody loves you**

**So find yourself somebody to love**

**The world still os the same, you'll never change it**

**Ad sure as the stars shines above**

**You'll nobody 'til somebody loves you**

**So find yourself somebody to love**

**So find yourself somebody to love**

_Such a lovely song, with powerful lyrics. _

I was lost in the moment, lost in the music, but the one thing I was sure about is that things were going to be better. Everything was going to be okay.

After I was done showering, I had gotten dressed and dried my hair. I decided to put it up in a messy low bun and finish it off with my black beanie.

Walking back up the stairs with my phone in hand I sat on the piano bench and decided to practice some songs to waste some time.

After a few songs I heard a knock at the door which startled me but soon I realized that I had invited someone over. Making my way over I looked at my outfit.

_Just play it cool. You invited them to help you out. Just be yourself and lay low. Everything will be perfectly fine. _

As I opened the door, everything I had prepared myself for before walking to the door was thrown out the window.

" Hey Quinn " There at the door stood the guy I once loved. The guy who is the father of my Daughter, Beth. The guy I lost my virginity to. Wearing a blue, white and red flannel tucked in his nice dark blue skinny jeans with white vans and to finish it off with a grey beanie.

I whispered a small Hey not trusting myself. _What have I gotten myself into?_

* * *

**Puck POV**

Well things didn't go as planned. She wasn't suppose to be looking at me with those eyes. That face that I never knew how to look at and say no. That beautiful smile that made me fall hard once.

**Flash back**

_" So puck. Tell me, what was it like being the badass of WMHS? " _

_I looked at the hot girl in front of me. Red head, good looking, junior and cheerlead. I think her name is kelly. Why does it matter. She has a seductive smile and is looking at me with pure lust. I would be lying if I didn't say this girl was hot. She was leaning closer to me, I knew exactly what she wanted and well my body wanted that too, but my mind and heart knew I wanted else. Someone else. But I guess it's true, guys think with their dick instead of their mind. I leaned in and kissed her. I was met by her tongue that darted straight for my mouth. My hand made it's way to her shirt and I cupped her breast expressing a moan from the girl._

_This isn't right it doesn't feel right. But my body told different and kept going. I broke the hot make out session and the girl gave me a lustful smile. _

_" Im going to go get us some Wine. Make yourself comfortable. " She winked at me and disappeared into the kitchen._

_I leaned back into the couch and closed my eyes. Ughhhh get out of my head! Stop it, Get you mind straight Puck! You have a hot ass girl here, forgot about her. _

_Buzzz Buzzz_

_I was brought back to reality by my phone ringing. I checked to see who it was and noticed it was an unknown number. _

_" Hello, who is this? "_

_" I… I need you " I knew that voice. It had been playing in my head. But she sounded so broken, worried, shattered._

_"Quinn?"_

_" I.. can you come over please? I really need someone and uhhh? "_

_" Is something wrong? Did something happen to Beth? Oh my gosh she's not dead is she? " I started to panic, my baby girl!_

_she chuckled a bit, " Haha no puck, Beth is fine, If anyone would have heard you they would have thought you were soft. haha "_

_Hearing her chuckle made my heart swell. I was mentally telling myself to stop but I couldn't. _

_" Than what's wrong? "_

_" Santana saw Brittany kissing Sam when she was on her way of giving Brittany a promise ring and getting her back. She's devastated. She needs you. She needs us. I need you. Would you come over and help me? I could really use your help. I would appreciate it. "_

_Just hearing that she needs me gave me hope for something I knew was impossible. _

_" I'm on my way. Whats your address? "_

_After she had given me the address I was out the door. I didn't bother tell katie, kandal, kelly whatever that I was leaving. _

_I stopped by my house and took a quick shower and got dressed up. I knew it was pointless but someone could dream right? _

**End of Flash back**

Her low whisper was enough to send my body into a nervous state.

" Nice place you got " I walked past her and into the house. It had a lot of open space and expensive things. I was amazed. I heard the door closed and heard her foot steps. I walked into the hall on the right and into the kitchen. _Wow this place is huge._ Opening the fridge I saw lots of food. Looking over to the stove I found some soup and chocolate cake. _Bingo. _

" Ah ah ah, not so fast. We're going to wait till Santana wakes up. "

" Just a spoon, come on it's not like she's going to know. "

" Puck, stop it. "

" Fine. " Sighing and leaning over the island I knew she wouldn't let me touch any food item so I grabbed an apple and began to eat it.

" So Lucy, How'd you get this place? "

" Don't call me that Noah. "

" Touche. But seriously, how? "

" Parents. "

" But I thought that- "

" Yea well my mother didn't want to divorce my father so she gave me her whole savings account and left. "

" The whole thing? " _Dam. The Fabray's were rich. _

_"_ Yup she thought that it would make me forgive her for leaving me. So why not buy a house and keep the rest? "

It was more of a question than statement. The sarcasim in her voice was weeping sadness.

" Quinn, I'm sorry. That must hurt. I know growing up without a father hurts but to be loved and left… I'm sorry. They don't know what they're messing out of. You're a great girl you know that. Don't let anyone tell you wrong. "

" Thanks Puck. Never knew you had a heart. "

" Ouch. " Silenced filled the space between us. Looking down at my apple I noticed I was done. I looked up and saw that Quinn was lost in her thoughts. " So I'll make you a deal. "

" What is it? "

" But you have to agree to it."

" I will once you tell me what it is."

" Agree to it. "

" No, not till you tell me what it is."

" Fine than your missing out. " I started to walk out of the kitchen. _1…2…3_

" Fineeee."

I turned around with a smirk on my face, I walked over to the counter opposite of Quinn.

" So heres the deal, I shoot this apple and make it into the trash you tell me your thoughts-"

" No that's not fair-"

" Ahh ah ah not so fast you agreed to this. And if I miss I'll cook breakfast and wash the dishes tonight and tomorrow. " I looked at her and saw her process the thought. _Got you know. _

" Alright you didn't play basketball in High school so I have my chance. Shoot. "

Throwing the apple in the air and catching it, I aimed for the trash can. _Okay, simply aim for it, and throw. _

" Would you shoot already. " Throwing the apple core cross the kitchen and straight into the trash.

" Ha! In your face Quinny. Go me, awh yea, Im a hot piece of ass and I made it. Fuck hell yes. "

" Okay Puck you can stop with your happy dance and let me talk. "

" Alright speak your thoughts. "

" Okay, but not here, lets go into the living by the piano. "

I walked back into the living room and across by the piano. My eyes immediately traveled to the guitar.

_Holy gosh dang, that's a Wooden glossed 6 String Fender. _

Picking it up I immediately checked the strings to see if they were tuned. Looking at Quinn who now was seated at the piano bench, she gave me a smile and began to play a beat on the piano. I matched it with the guitar and we both looked at each other.

It was the first time I had been able to see her hazel eyes without distractions.

_Beautiful. _

The way her bangs fell out of the beanie she was wearing, the way she was sitting, the way she was tense but relaxed around me.

_I should have never let you go._

Shaking my thoughts away, I thought of an idea.

" Hey Lucy, how about we relive some old memories? " I gave her a wink.

Her cheeks blushed but she had a smirk on her face.

" I thought you'd never ask "

* * *

**Sorry it took do long to upload. My family went through a hard lost. My family was devasted on Christmas eve but we managed. And I'm back! **

**All errors are mine. Hope you like. Where's Santana? Brittany? What's are Puck and Quinn gonna do? **

**(:**


	5. Chapter 5

_**SO SORRY for taking a long time to up date. School's work caught up to me. Anyhow I hope you all didn't suffer too much I wrote a bit more to make up for the time. Hope you like it. All mistakes are mine! Enjoy! Review!**_

_Italics= thoughts_

**Bold = puck singing**

Underline = Quinn signing

Normal= santana and her signing while the song goes on.

* * *

**Santana POV**

Opening my eyes, I found it hard to see. I rubbed my eyes and blinked a few times till my vision was clear.

_What the heck? Where am I? _Replaying everything that had happened today, my heart felt heavy, my breath got slower and my mind got weaker. Getting up from the bed I made my way to the rooms bathroom. I flickered the lights on and felt the coldness against my socks. I placed my hands on the sink cabinet and looked into the mirror. I looked miserable. My mascara was smeared and my eyes were red.

I looked under the sink for cotton balls to remove my make up. I hated being without make up but it's not the first time Quinn has seen me without it. Splashing the water against my face made my breath hitch. Sensing a wave through my body. After trying to remove as much make up I looked back into the mirror.

There I stood. The side of me that many didn't know. I was never seen publicly without make up. It shed me from everyone. It was like a physical barrier. My emotional barrier was strong as well as my physical barrier but make up made it easier to feel strong.

Breathing in I decided that I had to find Quinn. I found some comfortable clothes lying on the side of the bed, Quinn must have placed them there. I changed into the black sweats, white v-neck, black sports bra and the bright teal-green zip up hoodie I found. I placed my hair up in a bun and unzipped the hoodie.

After looking at myself one last time I made my way to the door and stepped out in to the hall. _Where's Quinn? _Looking down the hall towards the kitchen I started making my way there. As I reached the kitchen and Quinn was still no where to be found. _What the heck?_

As I turned around I heard the sound of the piano playing. _Hmmm, that sounds peaceful. Maybe she doesn't know I'm awake._

Making my way towards the living room a guitar started to strum. _The Hell? She plays guitar? _

Stepping into the living room my heart beat rose and a small smile started to grow upon my face. There stood my best friends. Puck started to make his way to me still playing the guitar and Quinn still playing the piano.

**Two AM and she calls me 'cause I'm still awake**

**"Can you help me unravel my latest mistake?**

**I don't love him, winter just wasn't my season"**

Puck makes his way over to me but looking at Quinn. _Wait is that verse for her? How long has he been her? Is something wrong with Quinn?_

Yeah we walk through the doors, so accusing their eyes

Like they have any right at all to criticize

Hypocrites, you're all here for the very same reason

**And 'cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable**

**And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table**

**No one can find the rewind button, girl**

**So cradle your head in your hands**

Puck had made his way to me and was taking me to sit next to Quinn. I sat next to her on the piano bench while she kept playing, never missing a note. She smiled at me and I gave her a smile back saying 'thank you'. I looked up and saw puck in front of me with the guitar and singing as well. He smiled at me trying to tell me it would be fine, and I just smiled back. Because none of us knew if that was true.

**And breathe, just breathe**

**Oh breathe, just breathe**

In May he turned 21 on the base at Fort Bliss

"Just a Day," he said down to the flask in his fist

"Ain't been sober, since maybe October of last year"

**Here in town you can tell he's been down for awhile**

**But, my God, it's so beautiful when the girl smiles**

**Wanna hold her, maybe I'll just sing about it**

'Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable

And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table

No one can find the rewind button, boys

So cradle your head in your hands

**And breathe, just breathe**

**Oh breathe, just breathe**

**There's a light at each end of this tunnel**

**You shout 'cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out**

**And these mistakes you've made, you'll just make them again**

**If you only try turning around**

2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song

If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer

Inside of me threatening the life it belongs to

And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd

'Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud

And I know that you'll use them however you want to

But you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable

And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table

No one can find the rewind button now

Sing it if you understand

**And breathe, just breathe**

**Whoa Breathe, just breathe**

**Oh breathe, just breathe**

**Oh breathe, just breathe **

**And breathe, just breathe**

After they finished off the song I felt a tear run down my face. Quinn ran her thumb over it and I whispered a thank you.

" I… Thank you guys so much. You don't know how much that means. " I stood up and puck had his arms extended for me. I fell into his warm embrace and let his affection try to give me hope. I felt Quinn's arms wrap around my waist and I was in the middle of this wonderful hug. Letting go I whipped the tears away that were streaming.

" Were we that bad? " Puck said with a laugh

" Hahah no puck, you guys still have great voices, I'm just shocked. "

" Surprise? " Quinn said a bit unsure.

" The best surprise. Thank you. I honestly mean it, I don't know what I'd do without you-"

" You'll never lose us, ever. " Puck said in a serious voice. It's the first I've heard him be so serious. Looking into his eyes I saw anger and hurt. His eye's screaming disappointment making my heart gain weight again.

" He's right. You'll always have us not matter what happens. You're stuck with us forever. And I mean forever. "

" Hahaha well than, I do need some privacy while going to the bathroom and showering but whatever rolls your boat Quinny " Sending her a wink

" Oh goodness, you always have some part of you in the gutter. " she said with sending me a playful glare. " Alright alright, now that we're all here, who's ready for dinner? "

Puck and I both shouted me.

" San… Tana, she's been starving me! She wouldn't feed me! "

" You know Quinn, always staying health " both Puck and I started laughing while Quinn was killing us with her eyes.

" Ha ha very funny Puck. Now help me set up the dinner table Puck. "

" Alright grandma "

Standing up, Quinn and Puck made their way before me into the kitchen.

" Puck, plates are in the cabinets over the sink and so are the cups. Place mats and utensils are next to the sink. "

" Yes Mom "

" What do I do? " They seemed to have everything under control and I wanted to help.

" We got it don't worry. "

" Oh okay. " I would have thought see would have asked me to place the table with puck but I guess I was wrong.

" Hey Tana, have you checked out the porch yet? It has a really good view. "

" No, no I haven't. I'll do that now. " I walked to the sliding window and opened it. I took a step onto the porch and closed the door behind me.

" ohhhh " I tugged the hoodie closer to my body and zipped it up. I walked to the railing and leaned the front side of my body against the railing. I took a second to admire the view. You could see all of Lima and past Lima. The view could be better if the clouds wouldn't have darkened. _How long had I been asleep? _

The wind hit me making me shiver, sending a wave down my body. I closed my eyes and replayed everything. The song with Puck and Quinn, Me crying my eyes out on Quinn, the ride here, crashing into Quinn, the…kiss, talking to Finn. Tears slid down my face.

_You should have listened to Finn. You're so stupid to think Brittany would be waiting for you. You broke her heart. YOU broke up with her. You did this. She wanted you. She fought for you. You brought this upon yourself Santana. _

_" _Why Britt, why? Why'd you have to forget about me? Why'd you have to move on so fast? Why'd you have to become _his_? "

My mind went back to the first time I kissed her. It was at a party of course both of us were a bit tipsy but that didn't matter. We both felt something that moment. Her lips were so soft, so kind yet lustful. Now those lips weren't mine. Those lips were _his. _

_Her warm tender arms. Her bright and perky smile. Her laugh was like music to my ears. And those eyes that I got lost in. Those eyes that gave me a home. _

" I'm sorry Britt-Britt. I'm sorry for never being able to admit my feelings, for holding back from you, for not being good enough " I choked a sob. " I'm sorry for not being what you deserve. "

I was too weak to continue. My eyes closed and I sobbed into my arm. _You were never good enough._

* * *

**Puck POV**

Once I saw Santana walk out I turned and looked at Quinn with an unbelievable face

" Why are you giving me that face? " I gave a hard laugh.

" Why didn't you let her help? "

" Well, we're taking care of her and watching over her. We're suppose to let her rest and try to forget. "

" And how is her sitting down and watching us going to make her forget? " She thought about it for a second.

" Quinn, giving her time to think isn't good. Trust me, it'll only make things worse. The less time she gets to go over the events alone the better. Right now she needs us. She doesn't need time alone. "

Quinn just nodded and looked down. She looked hurt.

" Quinn. " I said in a soft voice.

" No Puck you're right. I- I'm sorry I just want her to stop suffering. "

" Yea me too. "

" You don't understand, when I found her it seemed like her life was taken away and she was empty. She didn't even try arguing back when I ran into her. She just gave up and tried walking away. Puck she never gives up. Never. "

" I know, she looks so, so lifeless, so fragile. " I looked over at Quinn leaning over the sink.

I finished placing the last table place and walked over to her and hugged her. Her body shook against mine.

" Shh she'll get over this I know she will. "

" Have you seen her? She's so sad, so lost! Puck she lost the only fucking thing she ever cared about! Brittany moved on 2 fucking dam weeks after their break up. To be with who? Fucking sam! For dam sake SAM! One of my ex's and as well as Santana's! "

I pulled her against me. I'd never seen Quinn flip out like this before. She really cares and I do too. I felt my heart melt. Here I was holding the love of my life, who was hurt over our best friend, our sister. Who's heart is scared by me and what ever has her spaced.

" I know Quinn, I'm worried too. I'm scared. I don't know this Santana, and I don't want to know her. My Santana is brave and strong. She has will. We will help her Quinn. We are her family. We have to be strong for her and support her all the way. We can't let her fall into depression and blame this on her self. She needs us. "

Quinn pulled away and I missed the warmth. She ran her hands over her eyes and looked up at me. Not even when she was sad did her make up get ruined. Her glossy eyes looked even more beautiful.

" You're right. She's our sister. I just... this is so hard. I barely know her. I don't know what will make her break. I mean a simple song made her break and I just can't stand here and watch her fall apart. I don't want to stand here knowing how much she hurt her. Santana should never have to hurt. She's not the best person but god knows that seeing someone so brave and strong be so weak is so painful. I can't do it. "

" Shhh. I agree. I really do. God forbid that things get worse but Quinn I can't help Santana if I can't help you first. It would be not just hard but tragic. Seeing two of the three most important women in my life hurt is killing me. Quinn, I know we still have to talk but if you want to push that aside for some other day I'm okay. I don't need to hear it. I'm here for you, always. So listen carefully, push all those things that are bothering you aside and here up. Santana is walking on egg shells and we need to be prepared for when she breaks. It's going to be hard for us, but it's going to be harder on her. So forget everything and lets concentrate on figuring on what to do to help Tana. Okay? "

" You're right. Thank you Puck. "

I just nodded not wanting to ruin the moment.

" Now I'll finish seeing up and serving and you go get our Tana back. "

* * *

**Quinn POV**

Puck was right. I shouldn't have let her be by herself. She wasn't that kick-ass, laid back, whipped Santana I knew. She was a lifeless, sad and depressed person. If someone would have told me a year ago that this would have happened I would have looked at them with a ' WTF ' face and put them on my black list but now I'm so caught up with everything. Beth, boyfriend, puck and now Santana. I needed to let everything go and focus on now. Santana and Beth and thats exactly what I was going to do.

I slide the door of the porch open and felt a chill move down my body. I looked up and saw Santana leaning the front of her body against the railing. I saw her back shake and knew that she was crying. _Crap, you're so stupid Quinn. Such an idiot. Way to go. _

_Think fast. _

" Don't you wish you could disappear? " I spoke. I got no response. Of course.

" Not like physically because that would be impossible but you know like mentally just let go and disappear. "

Still no response. _Come on think. I swear it feels like I'm talking to myself. _I walked up next to her and leaned against the railing too.

I breathed deep and felt more chills. _I need to speed this up before we freeze to death. _

" Okay listen. " I said knowing I wouldn't get a response. I looked over and she nodded her head hiding her face.

" I know things are going hard for you and things seem shaky right now but I want you to know that you will always have me and Beth. I'm more than positive that you'll have Puck here too. I know that I was a bitch to you before sectionals and I apologize. I should have never insulted you. I was wrong. I'm starting to believe that I'm the one that envies you. " I took a breathe and continued feeling my eyes start to water. " Santana, I know this hurts and it feels like the world is moving on without you. I understand you pain. Well not necessarily the exact thing your feeling but I hurt when I had to let Beth go. I know I'm not good with words but I do know that this won't be easy. I can't find a source to heal your pain now but I promise to be here with you while you heal. I promise to hold you when you cry, dam I'll even cry with you if that's what you need. In all honest Santi, I'd fucking take a bullet for you if it would mean seeing your smile again. I'll never let you go. You're stuck with me for life. " I let a few tears slide and than brushed my hands over my eyes.

" Thank you Quinn, but I wouldn't let you do that. "

" Huh? "

She looked at me and giggled a bit. It wasn't forced but it wasn't so cheerful, but it was a start and I would take it. She turned a bit and looked at me.

" I wouldn't let you take a bullet for me. "

" What? You know that you'd take a bullet for me so it's no difference to let me take a bullet for you. " She thought about it for a second and didn't seem in the mood to argue. Maybe afraid to kill the Sister moment.

" You're right. Thank you Quinn. You're not good with words but thats okay. " I smiled at here and pulled her into a hug.

" Alright lets go inside because Puck is going to burst throughout that door any minute now thinking we're dead. "

She gave me half a smile and bruised her eyes one more time than walked with me to the door. Once we stepped in I felt more warmth and relieved.

" Thank goodness, I thought you guys had froze outside! " Puck exclaimed acting like a worried mother.

" Oh calm down mom, you would have built a fire to un freeze us while heating smores over our frozen bodies. " Santana replied

and laughed a bit. Puck smiled and gave me a look that said ' thank you' and I nodded back.

" Alright lets eat before puck 'dies' of hunger ".

I sat at the corner of the table and puck across from me and Santana in between. Santana was enjoying the food and joking around with Puck. I took a second to look at them. Puck was making jokes at Santana and Santana would return some comments, give a few smiles and joke back even. I knew that this was good. I ate and watch them continue intreating while we finished eating.

" Dam Quinn when did you learn to cook so well? "

" I second that. That was very good Quinn. " Santana added.

" A women never gives her secrets away. " I said and winked. Santana and Puck shared a similar face I'd seen before. _Oh no. _

I darted for the living room hearing Puck and Santana giggling while chasing after me. It reminded me of our young times together. When life was problem free and things weren't so out of hand. But it felt good to see some clearness in San's eyes. I know they would get cloudy soon but I'd enjoy every moment of it. Even if we couldn't share this moment with Brittany.

I got to the piano and got behind it.

" Oh your stuck. What you going to do now? " Puck said as her approached from the left side of the piano and Santana from the right. I took a few steps back and hit the glass wall. Santana smirked and tackled me. Puck came soon after and was tickling me as Santana did as well.

" Tell Puck and I your secret or you'll pay the consequence " Santana spoke

" Neve-" They teamed up and kept tickling me

" Stop please! " I kept telling them to stop but they continued

" Okay okay " I said they stop and I looked up. They did something you never do let go of the criminal. Well it's not that I was doing anything bad. I dashed and slide under the piano and looked back at them. They had a shocked face. _Oh yes, I still got tricks. _

Puck was making his way towards me but it was too late Santana was by my side dragging me back by the piano.

"Tell us before we tickle you to death! "

" Okay fine. I took lessons on weekends. " They looked at me and began laughing. Puck came and Sat next to Santana and kept laughing.

" Laugh all you want. I won't make breakfast than. " They got silent but it didn't last very long. They began to tickle me again.

They both stopped after I was squished between them on the floor.

" How come I'm the only one without a beanie? " Santana asked.

" Oh here wait a second. " I got up and ran downstairs into my closet. _Beanie, beanie, beanie… oh here. Hmmmm White or black? White_.

I ran up and found Santana and Puck just how I left them. I sat down and put the beanie on Santana.

" There. "

She smiled and it felt good. Maybe things would get better from here on. I didn't want to get my hopes up because I knew this storm wasn't over but I'd bare with it. This ship wouldn't sink. I wouldn't let it. We had lost our anchor some where but we'd find it. We'd find Brittany. It would just take time.

I reached into my pocket and took out my iPhone. I unlocked it and went to the camera.

" Picture time. " I said and smiled. I got close to Santana and Puck did too. _1…2….Click._

I looked at the picture. Santana was in the middle, Puck to the right and I to the left. All three of us wearing beanies and smiling. This is a good start. I looked at puck and he read my mind. We kissed Santana's cheek at the same time and took a picture.

" What! I wasn't ready. " She whined taking the phone from my hand

" Hey! " I said, she stuck out her tongue at me. I looked over her shoulder and saw the picture. Santana's face was shocked. It was such a nice photo. I need to get these framed.

" See not so bad. "

" Easy fro you to say, look at my face it's full with shock! "

" Haha it's a good picture. "

" Shut it puckerman. " He put his hands up like if he were to be arrested. We fell into a silence. I looked over and saw Santana with fighting with herself and puck looking out the window.

" I didn't answer you're question. " Puck's head looked at Santana with a confused face.

" Quinn asked earlier if I ever wanted to get away. Like mentally leave everything behind. And I never answered. "

" We I believe you can. It's not like you stuck forever. You just got to move on. " Puck responded without seeing Santana's face. It completely dropped. She gave a small forced smile and Puck's eyes shot wide.

" I didn't mean it like that Tan- "

" I need to use the restroom " With that Santana was up and closing us off. _Great just great. We were getting someone. _I sent Puck a glare.

Once Santana was out of sight I yelled at Puck.

" What we you thinking! We were getting somewhere! "

" I'm sorry it just slipped. But honestly I think it would be good to go, just leave. If I could I would do it. I mean wouldn't you? "

I looked down at my feet and sighed. " Yes. I wish everyday to just leave. " I said once something caught my eyes. My NYU red crew neck.

" New York " I whispered

" Huh, Quinn I said I was sorry- "

" New York" I spoke a bit louder. Pucks face was still confused.

" She said New York Puckerman " Santana interrupted. _When had she gotten their?_

I looked at Puck and he seemed to have connected the pieces together. She gave me a smirk. _You're brilliant Quinn. _

Now Santana's face was confused and worried.

" Mind telling me what's going on? " She spoke a bit too fragile.

" We're leaving to New York. " Santana's faced dropped as if she had seen a ghost.

" I… no. I can't. " Santana whispered battling herself. I walked over to her but before I could grab her she stormed off to her room.

_Great. Here we were again. God so help me. _

I sat by the window and felt Puck sit next to me.

" I just wanted- "

" Just give her time. I told you it wouldn't be so easy. Just give it time, if she gets worse, which I hope she doesn't I'll help you get her away. " I decided not to respond and leaned into him_, _replaying Santana's face and tears in my head.

* * *

**I want to apologize for the long time it took to update. I had most of it written but than I was caught up with school and nexus week I have finals so bear with me. I promise once finals are over, I'll be back to updating more frequently. **

**All mistakes are mine! **

**Enjoy! Review!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Well finals week is over which means quicker updates! This chapter resembles something that's happened in my life. It's a bit sad but like the story it's self ' Unwanted goodbyes '. A goodbye doesn't have to be said to someone leaving somewhere but letting go of life, problems or stress count as goodbyes. But don't get too mad, This is a Brittana story and they will be together. I promise. **

**All mistakes are mine! Review (: **

**Disclaimer: Don't own glee**

* * *

Quinn's POV

I had tired talking Santana into coming out of her room but she just wouldn't. My mind was racing not knowing what she was doing or thinking.

" Quinn you need to calm down. " Puck said as he tried massaging my shoulders. I stood up and walked to the middle of the living room.

" No Noah I can't calm down! I don't know what she's thinking. What if she's blaming herself!? Or if she's crying? Or if she's trying to fucking kill herself!? "

Puck seemed a little shocked about my outburst and the use of his real name but this silence was eating my insides. _She's hurting just as much as I am. _

" Quinn shes not going to kill herself. She's just taking time. "

" I thought you said it was bad for her to take time for herself!? "

" Well yea... I did but-"

" No. We need to see what's going. "

Puck stood up and walked over to me and grabbed my hand and walked me to the kitchen.

" Help me wash the dishes. "

" WHAT!? I just told you I was worried and you want me to wash the dishes? " I half yelled._ Did he not care? _I was growing impatient with him.

" Well Lucy you can't help her if your nagging and yelling at her or at me. You need to calm down and get your self together. Remember this is hard but it's harder on her. "

I just nodded and stood by him as he washed the dishes and I dried them.

" It's getting late. " He spoke a bit shaky scared that I'd break out again.

" Yea, here I'll put the plates away and you put the cups away. You remember where that's at right? "

" By the sink. Yea. "

Once everything was clean Puck and I headed back to the living room.

" You were right. I did need to calm down. I'm just so worried. This is harder than I thought. I would have never imagined being here. Like this. I always pictured us somewhere far, sipping on some good drinks and laughing off at everything we've been through. " I said while looking down at my feet.

" Well I don't think anyone did. We all expect what we want to see but we never expect the unexpected. "

" Well look at you the new Dr. Phill " I said jokingly trying to lighten up the tense air between us.

" Do I need to wear a suit like him? " Puck said wiggling his eyebrows

" Haha no what your wearing if fine. "

_Crap crap. He heard me loud and clear. _

" I ughh... I mean you look nice. It's a good change. " I felt my cheeks get red. _No no no... _

" It's fine " I could see him smirk.

" I'm going to check on Santi. Want to come along? "

" Yes "

We walked over to her door and knocked. No response.

" Santana, can we come in? " Puck said.

No response.

" Hey boo, can you open the door? Please? " I begged.

No response. I walked over to the piano and opened the cover.

" What are you doing? "

I reached under the sheet stand and opened a hidden opening and took out a key. I closed the hidden opening and closed the cover.

" Getting the key to the all the rooms. It opens all doors to the house except the front door and garage. Now let's go. "

Puck had a shocked face. We reached her door and I opened it.

My heart throbbed once I saw her. She was sound asleep on the chair across the room holding onto a pillow tight as if her life depended on it.

I looked over at Puck and saw how mad and heartbroken he was. Puck walked over to her and picked her up. I opened the covers for her and he placed her in the bed. I tucked her in and kissed her fore head. I wiped the dry tears on her face and kneeled down, resting my fore head against the edge of the bed.

" Brittany... No... Don't... Please.."

I turned my head facing Puck and saw hurt and discomfort written all over his face. He shock his head and walked out the door. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

" Hey Santi, I know you can't hear me but I want you to know that no matter what happens we'll always be here. Always. No one can separate me from you. You're my best friend, my sister. I won't let you go and I'll go to hell and back with you if it means seeing you smile one more time. "

I kissed her fore head and walked out of her room, closing the door as quiet as possible behind me. I leaned back against the door and slid to the ground.

_Why? Why did Brittany have to do this? _

I stood up and went down to my bedroom. I grabbed my phone and noticed that I had a few missed calls.

_I thought I had told Brittany not to call anymore._

Unlocking the phone I noticed that they we're missed calls from Santana's mom,

_Oh crap. They're going to be pissed. _

I quickly pressed redial and waited for Mrs. Lopez to answer.

" Quinn Fabray why didn't you answer my calls? I've been calling you for hours now? Santana isn't home yet and she was on her way to see… "

" Mrs. Lopez "

" Yes? " She inter putted a bit quick making me flinch.

" Santana is with me. "

" And you couldn't have told me sooner? " Her tone was a bit harsh but I could sense the worry and relief.

" Well there's more to the story Mrs. Lopez " I said a bit unshaken. I didn't want to worry her more but there's no other way to drop the bomb.

" Umm. so like you know Santana was on her way to see Brittany and… "

" Out with it Quinn. " She spoke fast, her voice filled with pure worry.

" Well I'm not all sure of how it all happened and I feel like she should be the one-"

" Quinn, anything you saw won't make me mad at you. Your her best friend and I'm glad you with her, but I can't help her or you if you can't tell me whats going on." She tried reassuring me after hearing me ramble on.

" Thanks Mrs. Lopez-"

" Call me Maria, I've seen you bare butt let me remind you. " I felt my cheeks get hot. _Oh goodness she sure is a Lopez. _

" Yes Mrs- Maria "

" Thank you, so let me whats going on " She asked more calm. I metal thank her for that. Maria has always been one of the nicest persons I've met. She still hard the flame of a Lopez but she was more comprehensive and caring about others. Especial of close friends to Santana like Puck and I.

" So Santana was on her way to see Brittany, and well I don't really know what happened but she told me she saw Brittany and Sam kissing. Sam is my ex and Santana's too. San tried rushing out and bummed into me. I kinda of bitched at her and well she didnt argue back with isn't like Santana at all so I got worried and I pressured her into telling me what happened till she yelled at me what happened and I swear Maria, when I saw her she looked so lifeless. So weak so… not herself. I followed her after she ran out and Hugged her. I took her home with me because I knew Brittany would run to your house. Once here she played a song on the piano and fell apart. She fell asleep on me so I took her to the visitors room. I was so worried I called Puck and he came. I made dinner and we ate than me and Puck tried cheering her up and than she fell right back into the blank stare. She cried herself to sleep. Puck and I found her curled up tight into a ball on the chair and-"

I couldn't go on I was crying into the phone.

" Shhh Quinn, it's going to be alright. She has you and Puck. You two are more family to her than anyone I know. Thank you for being there for her. I wish I could be there, but Mario has her work partners here and I can't leave. I'll be there in the morning. Thank you for taking care of her for me. "

" You're welcome. It's the least I could do. I was such a bitch to her and I feel so bad. "

" Not matter what you do, Santana could never be mad at you. She adores you and I know you adore her too. Take care go her for me. Please."

She sounded so worried.

" Maria she's in safe hands. "

" I know. Quinn may I tell you something? "

" Anything "

" I'm here for you too, always remember that. I care about you. "

" Thank you Maria, it's good to hear that. "

" Welcome I have to go Mario is calling me. Take care of her and take care of yourself. Tell Puck I said Thanks. "

" I will. Bye Maria. "

" Bye sweety. "

* * *

**Puck POV**

Part of growing up is accepting that the people we let into our lives have the ability to hurt us. That by opening ourselves up to trust, we are opening ourselves up to consequences of getting betrayed. Santana didn't deserve this, Brittany was the only person Santana truly opened open to and she goes and screws it up. It took me a life time to get Santana to trust me and it took Brittany two minutes to get her trust. It wasn't fair. It's not fair that Santana is here lifeless while Brittany is happy with Trouty mouth. How dare he take the only part of life that Santana truly loved.

" Puck! " I whipped my head around and saw Quinn standing behind me. She had grey sweats on and a black neck on. _When did she change? _

" I've been standing here for about a minute now calling your name. What's got you so up tight? "

" It's not fair. "

She sat next to me and leaned against the glass wall.

" What's not fair? "

" This. What Santana's going through. It's not fair that Brittany can rebuild a life, that Sam dates he ex's ex! It's not fair that we're the ones that deal with outer people shit. I just don't understand! Why! "

" Well, it's not meant to be understood. It's life, getting fucked over for other peoples shit. We can't ask ourself why because we'll never get an answer. "

" You're right but we can get an answer to why Brittany is dating Sam. I just, I want to go over and just kick his ass. I want to tell him off and just hurt him for hurting Santana. "

I heard her breath in deep and let out a sigh

" Well as much as I want to hurt him too, we can't because that will upset Brittany and if we upset Brittany we will get a very angry Santana. "

" That's true. But why should we care about Brittany's feelings when she didn't care about Santana's feelings? " I blew out a huff. This wasn't getting anywhere. I_I should just go beat the shit out of that punk._

" Don't think like that Puck. Even though I'm mad that Brittany did this, I can't blame her. Santana left her and well Sam was there. But I can blame Sam. He took advantage of Brittany's weakness to wrap her around her finger. "

" I- you're right. Brittany was only doing what Santana wanted but I guess none of us expected Brittany to actually move on any less in two weeks after the break up. I just want to hurt Sam like he hurt Tana. "

Quinn leaned her head on my shoulder and just stayed silent. It's what we both needed. Silence and patients. A heart can't be melded together with rush otherwise it will just fall apart again. Her heart will take time to heal and so will mine, even if it means being so close to the one I love yet so far.

* * *

**Santana POV**

I woke up from my nightmare with dry sweat. I slowly started to realize that my nightmare was more than just a dream it was reality. Brittany was gone.

I cried into the pillow. What's there to live for anymore? What's there to wake up to every morning? I dried my eyes and got up and went to the bathroom. I washed my hands without looking at the mirror. I walked out and felt my lungs tight. It was as this room didn't have enough oxygen fro me anymore. I slipped into my shoes and zipped up my hoodie. I walked out go the room and went to the living room. I saw Puck asleep on the couch. I gave a low sigh and walked to the door, I opened it and walked out shutting it behind me.

The morning air hit me giving me chills. I walked to the street and started walking to the the left. I need air and this was the only way I could get some relaxation.

I had walked for about five minutes just admiring the houses and views till I hit a small park. I crossed the street and down the trail through the dark. There was a pond in the middle. My feelings started to get denser and my mind started racing. I walked over the the Bridge that crossed the pond and looked out. It was truly a nice place. I let my eyes trail till I hit something. Baby ducks. I felt my eyes water and rush to the memories of Brittany.

**Flashback **

_I had taken Brittany to the park on a nice evening. _

_" Hey San, can we feed the Ducks? Pleaseeeee " She was pouting. I couldn't resist so I gave in. She gave me the biggest smile and grabbed my hand and pulled me down to the pond. _

_We sat on the edge and Brittany started breaking the sandwich bread into small pieces for the ducks. I scooted closer to Brittany and watched as she threw the bread. _

_" You've got to be kidding me" _

_" What? "_

_" You're scared of these innocent animals " she said while looking at me with a small smirk_

_" What are you talking about? I'm not scared of some ducks "_

_" Well than why aren't you helping me feed them? "_

_" What if they have rabies or something? I mean I don't know where their mouth have been. " I looked over to Brittany who was laugh on the side on me. _

_" Why are you laughing? "_

_" You're totally scared San. You should have seen you're face while you were explaining the whole rabies skim."_

_I gave her a playful glare " Haha very funny "_

_" Oh it is, Badass San is scared of some baby ducks "_

_" No I'm not. "_

_" Than you won't mind if I do this " I watched as she reached out for a baby duck and held it and brought it closer to me._

_" What are you doing Britt? I don't want to get rabies "_

_" What happened to the Badass Santana? "_

_" I- Okay fine! " She chuckled a bit before giving a kiss to the head of the duck and setting a down _

_" You're such a dork, but you my dork. " She grabbed my hands and pulled me in for a kiss._

**End of Flashback**

I felt the tears run down. I wiped them away and pulled my hoodie on. I walked onto the other side of the bridge and kept walked till the trail hit woods. I saw a trail going into the woods and was curious to find where it lead to.

I walked into the dirt trail and followed it till I looked back and didn't see the exit except the curves and dirt trail that I followed. I looked around and saw rays of sun and pure nature. I kept walking and saw a hidden trail. I looked around to see if anyone was running through here but didn't see anyone. I pushed the branches and bushes that had grown over the secret trail and walked through. I folioed the trail jumping over fallen trees and getting scratched by branches. It didn't matter though, nature was it's self and I enjoyed it. Nature let you speak out and be yourself without judging you. I pushed some branches aside and walked under them to avoid getting hit by them swing back into their place. I turned around and met by a beautiful site. I was on the other side of the hill I assume and looking over Lima in a total new angel. It was so beautiful. I leaned against a tree and just admired the beauty not even noticing the tears sliding down my face.

I sat there just crying out everything, not holding back.

_Brittany would love…. Brittany's not here anymore. You've lost her. You didn't deserve her. You weren't ever good enough. Sam deserves er. She's probably with Sam right now. Holding him, kissing him, loving him…_

I sat there crying out my heart, while nature wrapped its arms around me. I felt the hurt and anger build up. I stood up on my feet and felt as my hands wrapped up into tight fists. My nails threatening to break through my skin.

"HOW COULD YOU BRITTANY! HOW COULD YOU BREAK MY HEART! HOW COULD YOU GIVE YOURSELF TO HIM! **HOW! **" I yelled into the air, feeling fresh hot tears lid down my face. I turned around and repeatedly slammed my fist into the tree no caring if I hurt myself.

" HOW'D YOU FORGET ABOUT ME! " I slammed my fist harder into the tree feeling my body give all it's strength into every hit.

" Why'd did you stop loving me? " I whispered before giving the strongest hit towards the tree and falling to my feet. I felt the tightness of my chest and the shots of pain in the palm of my hands and fist. Every breath I took I felt harder, every move I took felt more painful.

_Is this how it feels to die? _It was getting harder to breathe and my asthma wasn't helping. _I'm going to dye alone. Lost and forgotten. _

I looked down to my hands and tried moving them but gave out a loud screech as I felt the pain. Blood covered my hands and arms. The tears burned into the cuts made. I cried more realizes I let my anger out on nature.

I breathed in deep and opened my fist realizing that my nails had cut through my skin. I turned my hands over and closed my eyes scared of what I'd see. I opened my eyes and saw horror. _What have I done?! _

My hands were covered in endless cut, I could visible make out the bones of my knuckles. I got up and careful placed my hands into the pockets of my hoodies trying to avoid more pain but it was useless. As the cloth of the hoodie stuck to the cut I winced and gave out low breathes.

I ran back into the woods and followed the hidden trail I had come through. Jumping over branches and falling trees with every step feeling like my last. Once I made it back to the main dirt trail I looked around and saw nobody. I had forgotten that it was morning. I sprinted back on the main trail and into the park. _Thank goodness for cheer. _Once I was on the park trail I looked around making sure no one saw me. If they saw me from behind they'd think I was a morning runner but from the front I looked like a dying person. I blood kept pouring and was leaking through the hoodie. My breathes got shorter and I started to curse at myself for running. I had sports endured asthma and high level asthma and every breath was getting touch and tighter. My vision started to get blurrier. _Shit Santana, you really blew it this time. _

I ran across the bridge and into the street. I ran down it sprinting now. I started to make out the form of Quinn's house and Thanked God.

_You're going to make it. You're going to get there. _

I kept my eyes glued to Quinn's house when I saw a car break in front of me. I jumped over to the curve and landed right on my face.

" SANTANA!"

I tried to figure out who the person that was rushing towards me was but I couldn't. I felt myself get weaker and more tired. I felt the pain easing of and started to see smudges of black. I let my mind lead me. _Let go. Why do you cling to this pain? There is nothing you can do about it. It is not in your hands to judge. Why hold on to the very thing the keeps you away from hope and love? Why hold onto life any longer? _

Maybe that was the choice. I couldn't feel my hands and arms any longer and felt my body give out. Maybe it was time to let go. It was time to move on. A relaxation set into my body getting rid of all the tension in my body. I decided to let the nature of life do it's job and take me away. It's the least I could give in return.

* * *

**And a little cliffhanger (:**

**What did you think? Review and comment! I'll have a chapter posted by Wednesday I promise! All mistakes are mine. **


	7. Chapter 7

**I'm so sorry it took me so long to update! When reality slaps you in the face, it has no mercy. But anyhow, I wrote a long chapter to make up for the wait…. I hope. Don't hate me. Please! hahah well anyhow I hope you like it. I didn't leave a cliff hanger this time and I don't think I will be doing so in a while (: Comment what you think about it so far! **

**Disclaimer: Don't own glee. Sadly.**

**Enjoy! **

* * *

**Quinn POV**

I was crossing the street of my house to get the mail. As I got the key and opened the mail box I heard my name being called. I turned around to see Beth walking towards me.

" Beth! Stop Stay there! " I turned quickly and locked the mail box. I turned and saw Beth in the middle of the road.I made my way towards her. She was wearing her pink rainy coat, blue jeans and her rain boots. Her hair was up in a pony tail and she had a big smile.

" Mommy do you like what I'm wearing? " she asked talking a few steps closer to me.

" Why of course you do. You're a princess. " I said as I made my way to her as well. Before I reach her a car speeds by hitting me. I try opening my eyes but find it hard. As I manage to see clearly, I see a police officer holding Beth who was crying. _Why is she crying? Why is she with the police officer? What's going on? _I try calling out her name but silence still remains. I started panicking. I tried moving my legs but I couldn't move.

" Beth! " I'm finally able to call out. I notice Beth screaming and trying to run towards me but the officer is holding her.

" Let her go! " I yell. I try getting up but can't feel any part of me. My vision starts getting blurry and I feel myself drifting off. I feel panic raise in my body. I start calling out Beth's name louder but the harder I yelled the farther she would be. I falling into darkness screaming Beth's name.

I wake up with dry sweat covering my face. I place my hand on my heart beating hard. _Just a dream. It was just a dream. _I say in my head.

I stretched out my muscles and made my way into my bathroom. I threw water at my face and grabbed a towel from the towel holder and dried my face. I leaned my back to the sink and sighed. The voices in my head played out everything that happened yesterday. After processing everything, I pushed myself up and walked to my closet.

" What should I wear? " I walked over to my scarfs and took a look. " Red? " Na. " White?" Na. " Blue? " Na. " Black and white? " Yea.

I picked up the scarf and walked over to my shirts and grabbed a red one.

" Now for some jeans and sweatshirt" I grabbed some nice ripped demin skinnies and a black vest. After I was don't changing I made my bed. I grabbed my phone off of the ihome and sat on my bed. Unlocking I realized I had no missed calls or texts. I felt relief wash over me.

_Well thats a good start. _

I walked to my door and picked up my red toms before shutting the door and heading upstairs. I saw that Puck wasn't sleeping on the couch. _Where'd he go? _

" Quinn! " I heard as Puck came rushing in with a panicked look on his face.

" Yes? " I asked a bit worried.

" I can't find Santana she's not in her room! "

" What do you mean she's not in her room? She was there when we went to bed! " I spat out.

" She's not in there, I woke up and checked on her and she wasn't there. So I checked the rest of the house and I can't find her! "

"The backyard? "

" Yes! "

" Downstairs? "

" Yes "

" The porch-"

" Gosh dam Quinn, I checked the whole house! "

I rushed to the visitors room and looked at the room. Empty and clean. The bed was made but Santana's things were still here. I walked to the night stand and Santana's phone wasn't there.

" Puck, have you called her phone?!" I yelled. He came rushing in.

"Yes, and she wont answer me! " He looked so scared. I put my toms on and rushed out of the room and into the garage with Puck right behind me. I opened the garage door and grabbed Santana's car keys.

" Come on she might be in Lima. " I said as I made my way into Santana's car. Puck sat in the passenger seat. I felt the cold wheel against my face and started to feel my body fill with nervous. I rushed out of the drive way and down the hill. It took 15 minutes to reach Lima. Puck and I were silent the whole way. Both of us turning our faces each way.

" We need to split up. I'll drop you off at the school where I left my car last night and drive around Lima. " I turned and looked at him. He gave me a nod. I felt so scared. _Where are you san? _

I made my way into the school parking lot and threw the keys at Puck.

" I'll call you if I find her. " And with that he made his way to my car.

I drove out of the lot and headed towards the Lima Bean. I drummed my fingers against the wheel trying to calm my nerves. As I made my way into the lot of Lima Bean I groaned to myself. Santana wasn't here. I turned my car around and back into the street.

" Where are you Santi? " I thought back to all the times Santana ran off. _Oh geeze. _

I drove out of Lima and back to my house. I felt my hands get sweaty so I gripped the steering wheel. I pulled to the side of the road and dialed Santana's number. Straight to voice mail. _Great, I should have known!_

I pulled back into the street and continued up the street. My mind racing and playing the worst scenarios. As I approached my street I kept forward hoping she would be around the neighborhood.

_Where are you, where are you?_

I tried redialing her number but I always got a response from her voicemail. I was starting to get more worried by the second. I reached the far end of the neighborhood park and wood trails and parked the car. I got out of the car and ran into the park.

" Santana! " I yelled while looking around. It was pretty early which I was grateful for. I ran around the park and I couldn't find her.

I decided to run back to the car and go on the other side of the car.

" Santana! " I kept calling while running back. I reached the car and rushed in. I dialed Puck's number. I waited for him to pick up.

_Ring…Ring…Ring… " You've called Puck, leave a message. If you're a hot girl call again " _I let out a breathe I was holding. I looked at my watch and noticed it was getting close to noon. I breathed in and pulled out of the parking space. I drove back to my street and Started to make out a figure by the main entrance of the park. _Who's that? _My mind screamed Santana but I noticed the person had blood on there sweatshirt. _Oh gosh! God please keep Santana safe. _I prayed as I came closer to my house and the figure closer to me.

" That looks like my sweatshirt " I looked back at the person and it hit me. _Oh shit._

I hit the brakes and saw her Jump off the road landing on the ground.

" SANTANA!"

I rushed out to her side and scream as I saw her.

" Oh my gosh Santana! Santana! Can you hear me? " I said while looking up at her. Her eyes were glassy and and she looked so lost. I noticed that her head was bleeding.

" Santana! Look at me! I'm taking you to the hospital! " As I unzipped the hoodie I took her hands out of her pockets gasping out loud and letting out a low scream. I felt hot tears pile up in my eyes. I looked at her hands while feeling the tears pour out. Her hands or even if they could be called that anymore were torn up. I could see the bone of her knuckles sending a disgust through my body. I choked a sob. Flipping her hands over, I was devasted her palms were cut deep and bleed. I let out the sobs and looked up t her face. I saw her letting go.

" Santana! Don't you fucking dare let go! " I gripped her face and looked at her.

" We are going to get you to the hospital! " I slid my arms under her and lifted her off the ground and made my way towards her car. I balance her weight on my chest in order to open her door. I laid her in the back seats not caring if her blood covered the seats and me. I buckled the lower half of her body. I took my vest off and placed it on her stomach and placed her hands on her stomach as well. I looked up and saw her dozing off. I wrapped my scarf around her head to try to slow the flow of the blood coming out of her head. I got out and into the front seat. I quickly put my seat belt on and dial Puck's number.I heard ringing. _Come on! Pick up! _Once it sent me to voice mail, I decided to rush to the hospital. I reversed into my drive way and down the hill.

My hands were sweaty and my mind was all over the place. I prayed to god to keep her alive.

" Santana were going to make it. I won't let you down. I won't let you go! "

I heard my phone go off and I reached over fro it. I pressed answer and hit speaker.

" Have you found her ? " I heard Puck's voice.

" Go gets Santana's mom and meet me at the hospital. Call Mr. Lopez and tell him we're on the way. We're about 8 minutes away! Hurry! "

I rushed out holding in the sob stuck in my throat.

" What? Why? Is she okay? What's- "

" I found her. She bleeding out. Her hands….They're torn up and bleeding out, she hit her head and…she wasn't responding… And she's-" The tears got to me. I couldn't go on. I looked at my reflection mirror and saw her body lied down. _Please… Please make it._

I heard Puck's sob.

" I'm on my way. " He hung up and I threw my phone across the seat. I drove above the speed, praying to god that she was sight was blurry and I was shaking from the cries filling up the air. I came into Lima and started to see the hospital.

I rushed into the emergency drive and saw Mr and Mrs Lopez standing there with Puck and Nurses. I pulled the car to a stop and the paramedics ran to the back door and took Santana out and placed her onto ambulance gurney. Mr. Lopez rushed to Santana's side and ran into the hospital with his emergency crew. , Puck and I followed right behind.

The nurses blocked our way into the emergency room and forced us into the waiting area. I sat down on the chair and immediately buried my face into my hands. Letting the sobs out replaying the last image I had seen. 's face while he ran into the emergency room holding the hand of his daughter. My best friend.

* * *

It has been three hours. Three hours of waiting. Three hours of worry. Three hours of heart ache and sobs. Mr. Lopez sent someone out to tell us that they were still in surgery. Mrs. Lopez was sitting with Puck in the waiting room while I'm sitting at the far side of the waiting room by the window. As I scan the view I see cars pass by. So far I've counted 35 black cars, 24 white cars, 15 grey cars and 18 red cars. I hear a sob and look over to Mrs. Lopez holding Puck while he cried into her shoulder. I looked down at my feet and felt hurt.

I could have prevented this. If I would have heard her. If I would have stopped her. If I would have not mentioned New York. I can't help but feel as it's my fault.

I got up wiping my eyes and walking out if the waiting room. I fell the fresh air and hitch. I make my way to Santana's car and open the drivers door. I get in and buckle myself. I grab my phone and look that I have missed calls. I close my eyes and felt my chest heave. I looked back at the passenger seats and imagine Santana spawn out across the seats. Bleeding, pale, still, alone…..gone. I let my body fall against the steering wheel as I wrapped my arms around my arms around myself and began to cry. I clutched my phone and speed dialed Rachel's number. I placed the cold phone to my hear and begged for god to make her answer.

I reached voice main and I sobbed into the phone.

" Rachel " I cried. I didn't attempt to hid anything at this moment.

" Rachel! She didn't deserve this! This wasn't suppose to happen, she isn't suppose to be the one in the emergency room! She's not suppose to be here! She's suppose to be in New York living her life! For God's sake Santana didn't deserve his. Fuck! " I sob into the phone. I cried into it and felt my chest tighten.

" She didn't deserve to hurt like this. " I whispered into the phone before hanging up and letting the phone drop under the seat. I held onto the steering wheel and cried harder. Feeling my chest rise up and off the steering wheel.

I set the car into reverse and headed to the car cleaners. I parked the car and opened the small compartment and grabbed Santana's glasses. Tears slid down my face as I remembered where I had last seen these Black Ray Ban glasses. Santana, Brittany and I were headed back from cheerios camp and Santana had forgotten her sun glasses at the cabin. We made a stop at a shop stop and Brittany instated that Santana looked wonderful in these, so Santana bought all three of us a pair.

I grabbed my purse and made byway into the office.

" How may I help you? " Spoke a guy not much older than I. I looked at her through the sun glasses not bothering to take them off. Disgust struck through my body as he eyed me.

" I…My car needs to be cleaned and there is blood stains in the back seats. My friend was in an accident and I had to rush her to the emergency room. The stains are new so, just be careful. "

" Okay. It'll ne ready by tomorrow. I just need the keys. "

" Can I take somethings out before? "

" Sure no problem. " I walked back to her car and opened up the trunk. It was pretty empty so I moved on to the front seats. I walked to the passengers door. I opened the compartment again and grabbed the papers in there, as I placed them in my bag a picture in the compartment caught my eyes. I picked it up and read the back of it. October 10, 2010. _Took her to the lack and confessed my love. Kissed and promised never to let us fall apart. _I flipped the picture over and tears ran down my face. It was a picture of Brittany sitting on a deck with Santana sitting on her lap. Santana was whispering something into Brittany's ear and Brittany had a huge smile on her face as she looked at Santana.

The tears came harder. That was Love. That was happiness. I looked at it longer and felt anger and hurt rise. _How could Brittany do this to Santana? How could she be with someone she doesn't Love?_

I placed the photo in my bag carefully and grabbed other things that I thought Santana would be cautious about. I closed the door and stared into the back seats. My hand was on the door handle but I couldn't. I felt my chest tighten and I couldn't open the door. I dropped my hand and wiped the tears that ran along the side of my faces. I was so thankful for the glasses I was wearing.

I made my way back into the office and the guy handed me a clipboard. I quickly filled out the information and handed it back. He gave me a small smile and I headed for the door.

" I hope your friend gets better " He called out as I opened the door. I looked back at him.

" Me too " I whispered before leaving. I crossed the road and headed towards the Lima bean. It was within walking distance since Lima wasn't that big. I made my way inside and realized how cold I was. I got in line and waited to order. I looked around remembering all the times I had been in here. All the memories of the good times and embarrassing moments. A heart felt a little warmer at the thoughts but as soon as my eyes connected with someone I was brought back to reality.

I made my way to the register and heard my name being called out but I didn't bother look back.

" Welcome to Lima Bean how can I help you? " The cashier greeted

" Can I get a White Chocolate Mocha, a Caramel Macchiato, a Cinnamon Dolce, three Vanilla Bean Scones and three Cinnamon Rolls "

" Sure. It's going to be $15 Please " I nodded and reached in my back and grabbed my debit card and hand it to her.

" Okay it'll be out in just a moment. "

" Thank you " I quickly made my way to the right trying to avoid staring into their eyes again. I turned and grabbed a few napkins.

" Quinn, hey! " I regretted coming here. I mentally told myself to act cool so thats what I did. I turned around and gave the best show I could.

" Sam " I said with my teeth clenched together. You could hear the annoyance in my voice and he had heard it too. He gave me a weird look but continued.

" Why are you were glasses inside? "

" Because I can. " I replied sharply.

" Why are you being like-"

" Ma'm here's your order. " I quickly made my way and picked up the cart with coffee and the bag with food. I tried to walk past Sam but he grabbed a hold of my arm.

" Let me go Sam " I said with a serious face.

" Not till you tell me why you giving me such a bitchy attitude. "

" I told you to-"

" She told you to let her go Sam. " I turned and saw Finn. _Thank god. _Sam finally let me go and I rushed out.

" Quinn! Wait up! " Finn called as I made my way out into the cold again.

I felt his tender hands grab me and swing me around. He looked at the glasses trying to search for my eyes. He simply took the coffee crate from my hand and walked me to his car. He placed the crate on top of his hood and did the same with the bag of food. I thought in that moment he would question everything. I anticipated for the questions to come but they never did. Instead I felt those warm arms wrap around me and held me as I began to cry.

" Shhhh. " He whispered in his sweet voice trying to cover up his worry, but being Finn it wasn't all hard to notice.

I cried harder into his embrace and tried pull away but he held me tighter. This is what reminded me of why I loved him so much. He wasn't the most handsome person but he was the most genuine whole heart man I have ever known. He was there for Santana when she was afraid to come out, he was there for Rachel and he was my first love.

_**Oh uh- huh If you ever find yourself stuck in the middle of the sea **_

I heard him whisper as his heart heated against my ear.

_**I'll sail the world to find you**_

_**If you ever find yourself lost in the dark and you can't see**_

_**Ill be the light to guide you**_

He continued to sing to me in his smooth voice

**_You can count on me like 1,2,3_**

**_I'll be there _**

**_And I know when I need it_**

**_I can count on you like 4,3,2_**

**_You'll be there_**

**_Cause that's what friends are supposed to do, oh yeah_**

**_Oooooh, ooooh yeah, yeah_**

**_If your tossin and you're turnin_**

**_And you just can't sleep_**

**_I'll sing a song beside you_**

**_And if you forget how much you mean to me_**

**_Everyday I'll will remind you Ooooh_**

**_Find out what we're made of_**

**_Where we are called to help our friends in need_**

**_You can count on me like 1,2,3_**

**_I'll be there_**

**_And I know when I need it_**

**_I can count on you like 4,3,2_**

**_You'll be there_**

**_Oooooh oooooh yeah, yeah_**

He breathed in deep and I felt his chest rise before singing the last chorus with true meaning.

**_You'll always have my shoulder when you cry_**

**_I'll never let you go, never say goodbye_**

**_You know…_**

**_You can count on me like 1,2,3_**

**_I'll be there_**

**_And I know when I need it_**

**_I can count on you like 4,3,2_**

**_You'll be there_**

**_Cause that's what friends are supposed to do, oh yeah_**

**_Ooooooooh, ooooooooh_**

**_You can count on me 'cause I can count on you '_**

He whispered the last part into my eyes and I felt the last few tears run down my face. He took the strands of hair off my face and pulled the glasses off and looked me in the eyes

" I'm here for you. I know something is going on, I can see it in your eyes and I can sense it. So please let me help you. " He begged with worry in his eyes. I was ready to tell him.

" Santana… " I managed to break out.

" Hey look at me " He said while lifting my chin

" Okay so I assume something happened between Santana and you? " I nodded my head no and he than looked like he was in deep thought. He put some pieces together because he breathed out _Oh._

" Santana saw Brittany and Sam " He stated. I nodded at him.

" That's not all is it? Because I know that you're mad and upset about that but I know that that isn't the end of this story. "

" I- Santana's in the hospital. She's been in the ER for three hours. I found her with her hands torn up by my house. She was bleeding Finn! He tried avoiding my car and jumped off the road and ended up hitting her head, and than I ran to her, and she was lifeless and wasn't responding. She was bleeding out! I should have slept with her in the guest room! I should have watched her instead of falling asleep on Puck " I rushed out with tears

" Quinn! Slow down! Just stop " He said as he wrapped me up in his arms again.

" Is Santana at the ER now? Do her parents know? Puck? Where were you guys? "

" Yes she's still in the ER. She's been in there for three hours. I called had Puck call her parents on my rush to the ER. Puck came over to my house to help me with Santana because she was devastated when she found out. She was lifeless Finn. Lost and hopeless. " I whispered.

He gave me a tight squeeze before leading me to the opposite side of his car and opening the door. He helped me in and ran over to the drivers side and grab be the coffee and food and placed them in the back seat. He buckled himself up and turned the heater on. He looked over at me and gave a reassuring smile.

I was grateful for him. He was trying to be there for me. He was being my rock. My anchor in need, something I knew Puck wouldn't do. He plugged his phone into his stereo and played some Michael Buble.

He drove out of the parking lot and towards the hospital. He reached over and grabbed my hand, giving me a smile and placing in under his arm on the middle compartment. The ride was silent and I was glad. He was giving me time to recompose myself and get strength to what would come. He parked the car and grabbed the things from the back and got out and made his way to my door.

He was such a gentlemen and such a caring person. He opened my door and took my hand.

" Wait, use my coat, it's a bit cold " He said. I finally saw what he was wearing. He had a red button up shirt with a black tie, with a dark grey double collar hoodie zipped up half with topped with the Black Toggle men's trench that was begging placed on me. _Wow. When did he get all fancy? _

My thoughts were disrupted when I felt his hand slip in mine. I looked at him, he had a reassuring and helpful smile and I could help but smile back at him. He was being that person I needed and I was so thankful. I stood close by his side still a bit shaky at he held my hand and locked the car and grabbed the coffee and food. We started making our way back into the waiting room and saw Mrs. Lopez and Puck look up.

Puck looked a bit frustrated to see me with Finn but I didn't bother. We walked up to them and tried to give out a smile.

" Mrs. Lopez I bought you guys some coffee and food. I didn't know how long we'd be here and we all need to be prepared. "

" Quinn, I thought we talked about what my name is." She said. She didn't sound so broken like before but I could still sense worry.

" Right, Maria. "

" Thank you " She said and gave me a smile. I took the coffee crate from Finn and was surprised that it was till hot. I handed Maria the Cinnamon Dolce and a scone with a cinnamon roll.

" Thank you Quinn, you shouldn't have "

" No, we are all in this together. " I spoke with some encouragement.

" I- thank you hun. " She said before eating.

I looked at Puck and handed him the Caramel Macchiato with a cinnamon roll and scone.

" You shouldn't have bothered Quinn-" I gave him a stern look.

" Thank you. And hey Finn "

" Hey Puck and Mrs. Lopez "

" Call me Maria, Finn "

" Yes, Ma'm! I mean Maria " He said while blushing and Maria let out a chuckle making my heart swell. _Things will be okay._

_"_Thank you Finn, and thank for the coffee and for your presence. "

" You're very welcome, I didn't actually get the coffee that was all Quinn but I am sorry to hear about what happened. I'l be here for all of you " Maria gave him a smile.

" Thank you son, that is much needed. Take a seat and eat. Quinn I don't want you to starve. " She said giving me a smile. I couldn't understand how she was so strong. Maybe she knew Santana would make it. Santana was a strong girl and I have faith in her.

Finn and I sat to the side of Maria. Finn was still holding my hand which gave me hope. I took a sip of my coffee and felt the warmth of it travel down my body. I didn't realize how cold I was before. I grabbed half of the scone and gave the other half to Finn. He hesitated before grabbing it and giving me a thankful smile. I smiled back and continued to eat.

Finn excused himself to the restroom and I missed the warmth of his hand in mine. Puck got up and sat next to me.

" Hey Quinn, I'm sorry about what happened earlier. I shouldn't have yelled at you and-"

" Puck it's fine. "

" No Quinn it's not. You were worried too. She's your sister just as much as she is mine. You were scared and I pushed you aside and that's not right. Forgive me? " He said while looking at me with watery eyes. I pulled him into a hug.

" It's okay. I would have don't the same thing. We were both worried and scared. But Santana's in safe hands now. We are strong and she is too. " I gave him a smile while pulling apart.

" You're right. " He nodded and walked back to 's side. The air left less heavy than before and I was thankful. Finn came back and sat next to me and held my hand. I felt my heart start to settle and for once in this day I felt like everything was going to be okay.

* * *

We were all talking sharing stories that we had with Santana. We all shared smiles and laughs and we all we're strong for each other.

" Remember Puck when we were in the locker room and we both slipped in front of the whole football team? "

" Oh my goodness, I remember that! " Puck and Finn laughed together and I was glad to see them talking and laughing. Mrs. Lopez chuckled at the goofy stories that they shared and she would occasionally embarrass Puck or me. Making Finn laugh and smile.

" Parents from Santana lopez " A doctor called out. We all stood to our feet and walked over to the doctor.

" Which ones Santana's family members? "

" I am, and so are they." Mrs. Lopez spoke out. The doctor nodded.

" So we managed to stop the bleeding from Santana's head and hands. I was told that she hit her head on the street but how did she get the cuts on her hands? " They all looked at me.

" I- found her running towards my house, she jumped out of the street when I came closer to her. I got out and she was bleeding from her head since she hit the curve but I found out myself about her hands after I took them out of her pockets. I have no clue how it happened. " I said as felt tears build up. Mrs. Lopez pulled me next to her giving me a hug.

" Okay, well Santana's cuts on her hands are stitched. Both her hands are sealed with bandages so when she wakes she can't do much with her hands. We don't want the cut to reopen. " We all nodded.

" Now. We had some difficulties. As I said before, we managed to stop the bleeding but Santana lost a lot of blood and went into hypovolemic shock. " We all looked at the doctor with worried looks.

" We were able to get her heart back pumping. That is why it took so long. "

" So she died during surgery? " Finn asked for all of us.

" Yes she flat lined for 5 seconds. But like I said, she's fine now. She's being set in her room as we speak. Last thing, the surgery was painful, of course she didn't feel it but we gave her large amount of medicine so that she'd sleep and ease off the pain of the surgery. She should be asleep for about 8-14 hours. When she wakes be sure she doesn't try to take the the bandages off her head and hands. Any questions? "

" What room is she in? " Finn asked

" She is in room A19. It's on the 10th floor on the left. Pick up the phone and say your Santana's family and they will let you in. The room can hold a good amount of people and three people can spend the night. There is also a food facility for the patients visitors so help yourselves. And the view is towards the hills so you have a great view. Anything else? "

" Yea, will she wake up in pain? " I asked.

" Yes, but we will give her some more medication to rest and ease the pain off. "

" Do you know where my husband is? " Mrs. Lopez asked

" He was washing up while I came out here. He told me to tell you that he'd be up once he was done. "

" Thank you Doctor. " We all said as we made our way towards the elevators. My worries and body felt at ease knowing she was okay. But there was something that wasn't okay. And that was my heart.

Puck picked the phone up and told them we were Santana's family. We walked into the care center and found her room. Finn held my hand every step and as walked into her room. I looked at him and felt a smile form without restriction I knew than that I would never let Santana hurt again. Cross my heart. No one or nothing would hurt her ever again. I was going to be here for her and I knew that I wasn't going to be the only one. She had Puck and her parents and Finn as well.

As I walked in behind Finn I saw her there laying in the bed with her hands and head wrapped in bandages. She seemed at peace and I was grateful to know that her dream was keeping her at peace. Even if she was dreaming about the being with source of her pain.

* * *

**What did you think? Like? Yea? Na? Comment and tell me your thoughts! **

**All mistakes are mine!**


	8. Chapter 8

**So here is a quick update. It's kinda short but it's something. It's not my best but I wanted to give you something for taking so long to update. All mistakes are mine!**

** DameonCain: Yes and no. Yes to Brittana. I'm a huge Brittana shipper and I strongly disagree with Bram because I would imagine them more as close friends. But saddly no, Brittany will not be finding out about this. **

**Review! Ask questions! Thoughts! And enjoy glee tonight!**

**Disclaimer: Dont own glee**

* * *

**Maria's POV**

What has happened? Every single crack I had managed to cover up since Santana was born was starting to break again. When did this family lose control? When Santana's father found out that she was dating Brittany he was acceptant about it, but I knew deep down that there was something that bothered him about they're relationship. He became demanding and controlling of both Santana and I. Of course he would hide it from Santana but when she was gone he would leash out his anger. Now that Santana was in Louisville he spent he's evenings drinking, his nights screaming, his days working. Everything that he does now seems forced. It's like he's changed.

When he found out that Brittany and San broke up, he was there for Santana. He encouraged her to stay in Louisville and he told her that he'd pay someone to do her laundry so that she wouldn't need to come home. It's was like he wanted her away from Brittany. When he found out that his daughter wanted to go to New York to become someone famous he leashed out and drank himself to sleep when Santana left. He yelled at me that night that if Santana hurt his reputation, things would happen. That night I knew I had to find strength to protect Santana and leave her father. Things started changing before this, but I never found the strength to leave him before. He could be the worst husband but he was a great father. I couldn't just leave him even if he was abusive.

I walked in behind Puck and saw her. My heart shattered. She looked at peace but deep inside I knew she was hurting just as much as me, maybe even more. _What will this do? _I walked to her bed side and kissed her cheek.

" Mija, I know you can't hear me but I'm here now. " I felt a tear slid down my face as I heard Mario come in.

" Hello there Quinn, Puck, Finn " He said in a fake voice I'd heard many times before sending shivers down my body. I wiped the tear off my face quickly and turned around.

" Maria can I talk to you outside? " He said looking at me with a serious face. I looked over a the kids and they seemed a bit uncomfortable. I gave them a smile and followed my husband out of the room. He grabbed my elbow and pulled me out of the care center and towards the stairs. Once we reached the stair case I immediately withdrew my arm from him.

" You were hurting me, Mario "

" Yea well clearly not as much as our daughter. "

" This isn't my fault and you know it" I bit back

" Why was she at Quinn's house? How the hell did this happen? " he said with a harsh voice

" I don't know Mario, maybe if you wouldn't have had a drinking party with your co workers last night this wouldn't have happened " I said. I instantly regretted saying it. He grabbed my arm and forced me against the wall.

" You listen to me Maria, if anything happens to Santana or my reputation I will end you. Understand? " He spoke and

I simply nodded. He let me go and fixed his tie.

" Now, I want you to prepare some suit cases. We will move to New York in a few weeks, we will keep the house here as a vacation spot. I'll talk to Santana and get her to transfer into NYU. She will study pre-law and minor in whatever else she wants. "

" And I don't a say in this! " I yelled.

" I think you've said enough. Do as I say Maria or you'll regret it. " He left the stair case and I leaned against the wall and thought of what he was planning. _This can't be good. _

* * *

**Puck's POV**

I'm emotionally and physically drained. The air still felt tense between Quinn and I, not to mention Finn as well. While we all sat in the waiting room we ignored our problems and focused on trying to be strong for Mrs. Lopez and Santana even through Mrs. Lopez seemed to have everything in control. When I saw Quinn walk in with Finn I grew angry. _How could she?_ _How could she leave and get Finn when she had me. I was stupid to think that I could have a chance with her again. After all, I almost ruined her life. _But I understood her decision. 

As I'm sitting on the guest bed across Santana's bed I look outside towards the hills and back at Santana. She looked perfect even with the bandages covering some of her beauty. Quinn had her hands wrapped around Santana's hands as she looked at Santana hoping that she'd get better soon. Finn was on the chair by the window looking at a Quinn and Santana. I saw worry, sadness and confusion in his eyes.

He didn't know how to handle this, he could handle everyone else's feelings but his own and I didn't blame him. We both grew up without a father but Finn had it worse. I knew my father was a bastard and I knew that when he left my mother that I would never leave my wife and kids, I would never do or become what he was. I have a brother and 2 mothers to give me twice that love that any father could give while he only had a mother. He has not a single memory or image to help close that chapter in his life. He never had that role model that could teach him what to be and what not to be and even though my father was a fuck up, his mistake taught me what to be. Finn never had that. He had to grow up himself and teach himself what it meant to be a man. And in all honesty, that is why I look up to him. He's been able to grow up and become a better man but he was forced to become a man for the sake of his mother. While I grew up to be who I am with time but I never learned what it meant to be a man.

I saw it in his eyes when Mr. Lopez came in. I saw the hurt and discomfort. He never really had anyone there and seeing Santana's parent there made him feel unworthy. He's always believed that if he wasn't worthy of his own father's attention, than he wasn't worthy of anyone else's and he was wrong. I'd always catch him pushing himself hard at football practice. I saw how each time something went wrong he'd blame himself for the fuck up. I've always had a feeling that he blames himself for the pregnancy of my child. He has never confessed to it but one day after practice I found him crying in the locker room after everyone had left. He had his arms wrapped around his knees as he beat himself up saying how he wasn't worthy of Quinn and that's why she had cheated. I wish I could go back to that day and have interrupted him and told him that he was wrong. That many people are unworthy of his time, that it wasn't his fault that Quinn and I cheated. That it wasn't his fault his father left.

I got back drawn out of my thoughts when Mrs. Lopez walked in. She walked over to the chair next to Finn and sat down and he gave her a smile. He leaned her head against his chest and he wrapped his arms around her. Mrs. Lopez's and Finn's eyes landed on Santana and Quinn. I breathed in and joined them as they preyed for Santana's health. We were all hoping for the best but preparing for the worst. Something wasn't right and the Doctor's weren't telling us. We all sensed it and it was only a matter of time before the Doctors told us.

* * *

**Finn's POV **

Everything seemed so rushed. The whole thing that happened back at the Lima Bean, Santana's accident, Puck's reaction, Mrs and Mr. Lopez's affection. My feelings are being pushed past my will and I didn't know how to handle it. Mrs. Lopez is wrapped around my arms and I feel her trying to be strong for the sake of all of us but I wish she wasn't. I could handle everyone's emotions. I would be that rock for them all if they let me.

I see Quinn's body rest against Santana's bed and can't help but feel like she's blaming herself for this. It wasn't her fault, it wasn't anyone's in this room. I can sense how we all blame ourselves for this accident and I can't help but feel the same. I should have stopped Santana from going to Brittany. I should have said something to Brittany and Sam when I saw them. I should have confronted Sam at Lima bean, but I didn't. _I'll never be a man. _

I look over at Puck and see him deep in thought. _I wonder what he's thinking. _I try to make eye contact with him but he's so lost in thought. I feel bad for the way things went in the waiting area. Puck was like a role model for him. He had this strength and perspective that I wish I had.

I sigh and lean my head against Mrs. Lopez's and rest my eyes a bit hoping that Santana wakes soon.

* * *

**Quinn's POV**

It's been killing me. Something feels totally wrong. When Mr. Lopez came in and took Mrs. Lopez, I sat by Santana's side and began to pray. The doctor that had talked to us in the waiting room rushed the information out and left quickly. When the three of us were left alone we all stood by Santana's side and felt like something was missing. Puck gave her a kiss on the cheek and Finn kissed her forehead.

The room has been silence then, no one daring to speak out. I sense that Finn will be the one to hold us together and I was thankful. He was such a man, I don't know what any of us would do without his help at this moment. I had looked up and connected eyes with Mrs. Lopez as she entered the room and sat by Finn. I was surprised when I turned and caught Finn wrapping his arms around Mrs. Lopez and looking over at Puck. I've never been able to understand how he can keep himself strong. How he manages to pull through. It hurts to know that I was once the source of pain in Finn's eyes. I can't help but feel like it's my fault that Finn feels the need to be the anchor of our boat. It was me who had caused him pain. It was my fault that Santana was here. It was me who led pain to all they're hearts and I didn't know how to fix it.

I looked back at and Finn and realized that they had fallen asleep, I turned and noticed that Puck had fallen asleep too.

" Hey Santi, what's got you dreaming so much that you haven't woken up? It's been four hours since you've been asleep but I feel like you won't wake up in a while. I'm not the only one who feels like this too. Finn, Puck and your mother are worried as well. You know, I never meant to hurt you. I wish I could go back and stop myself from asking you to go to NYC with me. " I paused for a moment hoping that she'd respond but I knew silence would give me an answer.

" I know you must be dream with- " I paused. It felt so hard to say her name. It's crazy how someone we love and care for so much can turn into someone we dread in a matter of seconds. I didn't have some sort of stigma against Brittany, I just wish that Brittany would have made a different choice. I shook the thoughts and continued.

" Brittany, but we're here too. We need you….. I need you. " I whispered. I heard my phone Buzz and I decided to ignore it.

_I don't know if you can hear me god, but I want to ask you for something. I know I haven't been a saint and that Santana or Puck nor Finn have been either but give us strength. Give us the will to fight through this. Give us the feeling to fight and be worthy. I know Finn feels the need to be the one to guide us and tell us that we are strong and worthy but he deserves someone to be reminded that he is worthy and strong enough for himselve. Puck needs someone to tell him that he didn't make the wrong choices in life, he just made a couple of mistakes and that doesn't make him not worthy to start over. Santana needs someone to tell her that she can move forward, that she can fight this heart ache and that she is worthy enough for anyone. And I… I need someone to remind me that I am doing the right thing. That I am worthy of love. The love of my daughter. We need you to remind us that we are humans and that we are all worthy of happiness. Amen_

I gave Santana a kiss on the head and rested my eyes.

* * *

I heard Buzzing and I opened my eyes. I looked around to make are that everyone was still asleep. I checked my watch and noticed that it was now 6 pm. _I had been asleep for 2 hours. Time flies. _

I walk over to my purse and dig out my phone. I open it and notice that I have 9 missed calls and 18 texts messages. _Great. _I walked over to the cabinets and opened them looking for some blankets. I finally found them and silently walked over to Puck and placed one on him and than covered Mrs. Lopez and Finn. I looked at Santana and saw her chest rise and fall. She had some tubes connected to her to ease the pain in her sleep and a nose tube to help her breath. It broke my heart. Seeing her there on the bed sent images of flashbacks of how she was in the car.

" I'll be right back. I'm going to make some calls and talk to my daughter. " I kissed Santi's face and walked out of the room and down the hall to a little private waiting area in the care center. I sat next to the window and looked down at my phone.

**18 New Messages from Rachel Berry**

**9 Missed calls from Rachel Berry**

I decided to read through the messages first

**From Rachel Berry 3:48pm:**

**Quinn I got your voicemail, whats wrong I tried calling you but you didn't answer. What's going on?**

**From Rachel Berry 4pm:**

**Quinn answer my call! What's wrong with Santana? Please call me once you get this**

**From Rachel Berry 4:26pm**

**I'm starting to really worry! Call me ASAP! Whats going on!**

**From Rachel Berry 4:38pm**

**Why aren't you picking up? Are you okay? Did you get hurt too!?**

I decided to skip to the last one.

**From Rachel Berry 5:54pm:**

**I'm on my way to Lima with Kurt. Since you didn't reply I assume somethings happened to you, I'll see you in the Hospital. **

_Oh no. _

I quickly dialed her number.

" Lucy Quinn Fabray! Why haven't you answered my calls and text message-" she yelled in my ear

" Rachel I was-"

" No you listen to me. I've been freaking out since I got your call and-"

" Rachel stop you screaming in my ear and it's really not helping me with the whole situation. "

" Well how else do you expect me to talk to you after I've been worried sick? "

" I don't know? I bit more comprehensive? "

" Whatever I'm on my way to Lima with Kurt "

" No wait no don't do that you have school "

" Yea well so do you and that's not stopping you from being there "

" Rachel I don't think that's the best idea. Finn is here. "

" Oh. "

" Yea besides you don't even know whats happened "

" Well enlighten me. " She sounded a bit harsh but I understood her view.

" Santana… she was staying with me after she saw Brittany kissing Sam. Puck came over to help me with Santana because it was killing me seeing her so lifeless. You don't realize how she was. I told Santana that we should move to NYC and she flipped out and locked herself in her room. The next morning she was gone and Puck and I went out searching for her. I found her and when I reached her she must have thought I was someone else and was going to ram into her because use jumped out of the way and hit her head against the curve. I went to her and… " I paused to take a breath in and prepare myself to tell her the rest.

" she was bleeding out. Her head was in a pool of blood and her hands were torn. I could she the bones in here hands, her palms were ripped apart, her whole shirt was covered in loud. I rushed her to the emergency room where she was in surgery for four hours. She flat lined once" I choked a sob. I heard Rachel gasp on the other end.

" Is she..is she de-"

" No. She went into shock due to the lose of blood but the doctors were able to revive her. I went to the car cleaners to get her car cleaned and I went to Lima bean to get coffee for Puck, Mrs. Lopez and I and Sam was there. He grabbed me and tried forcing me to talk to him and Finn came out and told him to let me go. Finn came with me to the hospital and that's why he's here too. "

" I can't imagine what your going through. I.. I'm going there regardless if F..Finn is there. Santana is my friend and so are the three of you. "I wiped the tears on my face as she spoke.

" Theres something else. The doctor's said that she'd wake up in about 8-12 hours but it's been seven hours already and she still hasn't woken up and I have a feeling that she won't wake up in a while. We all sense something going on that the doctors won't tell us and I'm.. I'm scared "

" Oh my gosh! We're on our way. We will be there in about 4 hours. "

" Thanks Rachel we all need you and Finn does too. If Brittany calls please don't answer and don't let anyone see you here. "

" I… yea. We all need each other. And okay. I'll do my best. I'll see you soon. "

I hung up the phone and whipped all the tears off. I walked back into the room and found everyone still asleep. I walked over to my chair and sat down.

" Rachel and Kurt are on there way Santi. Rachel will probably call Cedes and Mike but that's okay. " I placed my hand on her shoulder.

" I know you must be somewhere happy right now, but you have to hear me. I need you. We need you. We need you to wake up and keep us together. Because the longer we sit here the more and more we feel like theres no way back. The more we feel like theres no more you. And I won't accept that and they won't either. Please come back. _Please. "_

I rested against my seat and looked out of the window into the sky with visible stars. _The stars never fail to be among us. Just because there seems to be no light doesn't mean there isn't something there. Sometimes we must find ourselves in the darkness to see ourselves in the lightest. And when the time comes for us to lay amongst the stars, it's up to our heart to decided whether we want to continue admiring the stars or for us to become what we admire and I prayed that Santana's heart would choose to continue to admire the beauty of the night. _

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**Enjoyed it? All mistakes are mine and I hope you enjoy glee tonight! **

**Review please! Give me your thoughts, comments, questions (: **


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